Friday, December 31, 2010

Keep Your Balance

Happy 2011 to our global audience. Some of you already are in that. So if you're east of New Zealand, try not to give too much away about what's coming up.

Keeping your balance these days? For us, it's a matter of keeping in mind we're not responsible for what others say and do. The best thing to protect ourselves is to just concentrate on keeping our positive balance. Limit contact with triggering people as much as possible (if it's not possible to just cut them off). You have your bad days with that. Then again, what else can you do?

NOTE: Some of you are probably asking, just how many countries are you read in? Naturally, you don't have clearance for all of that information. However, we can tell you that it's about 32 countries. We're everywhere except in Africa and some parts of Asia. Our latest readers are in the Caribbean and some new ones in the U.K.

We don't have ads or sell anything here. In almost three years we've stuck to that policy. Can you name one other blog that does that?

In return, we only ask one thing. Link us everywhere and everyway you can without hurting your overall healing. Please text or email others about us. The mobile device market is still one of the fastest growing ones globally. Let's tap into that.

Use you tools as creatively as you can. Which means that the Really Rich Powers that Be will have to possibly deal with less money. They can deal with it.

Happy 2011.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Protect Yourself and Fight Back (all at the same time)

It's really true. Just when you think you're caught up on the latest smart phone/laptop/plasma TV, a new one comes out. Do you then upgrade? Do you steal software? How do you keep up?

Take some time to go to reputable sources, and it does pay off. For trauma survivors, it's also useful because of global networking with other survivors. There's the good and bad side to it.

The good side is creatively use your tools to share content, tipe and more that we can all use. The bad part? Some who say they're ______ actually aren't. Not all but some support sites for survivors have pedophiles as administrators.

How do you trust anyone? We're not sure. We used to use some forums, but we stopped because of lots of horrible experiences. We followed their Terms of Service. Then, in at least 3 cases they turned out to be nightmares.

What are the reasons for this? Budget cuts. Not enough people have the time to work on these. But also, keep in mind online security. While it's obviously good to try and get the help you may need, you also have to protect yourself.

A few basic ideas:

Don't leave any obvious clues that be connected to find you.
If your current browser or O/S isn't working, consider upgrading or switching.
Use encrypted email or multiples IP addresses to cover your tracks.

All of these are out there and can be used (a lot of it for free). You just have to know where to look.

Getting help is great. But protecting yourself at all times is even better.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Global Networking (Contains potentially triggering content. Read at your own risk).

How's your Wednesday? Time to say thanks to our growing global audience:

South Korea
The Russian Federation
the U.K.
New Zealand
and of course all over the States

We don't know who you are. We could use satellite techonology from Google to check out your neighborhood. But we'll be nice and stick to the blog.

Since it really is a global economy, it only makes sense to use your tools in the most creative way to connect. We try to pass on helpful tips and tools that are freely available on line. Some cost a small amount. The point though is how you use them.

Some of you are dealing with unstable governments, rebel attacks, floods, earthquakes and other stuff. Here, lots of problems as well.

One major problem seems to be a growing disregard for reality staring you right in the face. (NOTE: let's see if we can stick to our rule of No Triggering Current Events that you can find on those other blogs).

From a trauma perspective, the stress continues to grow in various parts of society. This means that the national PTSD rate is going up as well. It varies depending on the person and their situation. Despite that, it IS there.

Another example: rape cases in the military are growing all the time. If your really want to help a survivor, it's a good idea to start by admitting that you see all of the survivors in front of you.

There are both women and men rape survivors in the military (as there are in civilian life). How many times do you hear that in the MSM or the progressive? We don't.

To us, this means that many key people in key positions are making the problem worse. How come nobody tells them that to their face?

One copout? The number of guy survivors is so small it's not worth talking about.

Tell that to a guy survivor who's putting his life on the line in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Obvious question. How could you not feel insulted by that? Set aside for a moment if they're gay or straight. Deal with them as people violated by something horrible.

However, many powerful people don't want to do that. If it was their kid or loved one, odds are they'd use every means at their disposal to help them. They'd want to keep it as a "private matter" to keep the MSM out. To a point that's understandable. Nobody should be forced to out themselves.

Now, why is there a double standard? One for the rich and powerful, and one for the rest of us?

Because it's the old "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" scenario. Most people will do and say literally anything to make this just magically go away. It doesn't matter that these people didn't ask to be raped, humiliated and treated like dirt when they try to get help.

Just shut up and go away. But also, it's YOUR problem. So please get help. But not from me.

The Assange case is a perfect opportunity to talk about the real concerns that all rape survivors have. But nobody cares. All that matters is Assange Hype:

It's all a sham to get him killed in the States.
Just how hot is he in bed? Let's ask all of his former babe partners.
Graphic sexual details are way more important than an actual discussion about

How come none of the "big names" supporting him will touch this? They know that rape is happening in the military. They know that there are gay servicepeople. Yet, all that seems to matter is the spin on the story.

Then again, they have to live with the consequences of their actions. We wonder how they do that?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

How to Cope (Contains potentially triggering content. Read at your own risk).

It's either blizzards or 40+ heat. It seems like there's no middle ground anywhere.

Is the same true as you deal with healing from trauma? Do you feel like someone is listening to you? Or, does it feel like no one pays attention?

Lately, we're fighting to keep our balance. Symptoms and despair at times are crippling. We can't afford to go back to a therapist. So we make due with our sources for help when necessary.

Aside from that, do you feel paralyzed from fear? Do you feel like nobody wants to have literally any contact with you of any kind (for whatever reason)?

How do you cope with this? We're taking lots of breaks and just trying to keep moving forward. This doesn't mean don't pay attention to what's going on. Just try to keep your focus as best you can.

Everyone is responsible for what they do and say. They also have to live with the consequences.

Monday, December 27, 2010

How's Your Monday? (Contains potentially triggering material. Read at your own risk).

As they say in Australia, how ya goin? It's back to the grind (except for the lucky few who have really long holidays).

Here, it's been tough. We're fighting really hard to keep our balance. We have to be careful because triggers are everywhere. This means everything still has to be screened. Also, can you trust anybody? These days, that's extremely hard to do.

What helps to keep you focused? What helps you to not snap and kill everybody who gets in your way? We still cry many times and despair is really tough to deal with. Then again, we have to protect ourselves. What other choice do we have?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Go Shopping

How was your Xmas? Many will go shopping today to get those great holiday disocunts to get ready for next year. Good Western economic planning.

Ours was rough. We felt sad and still do at times because nobody wants to listen to us. We still hear idiotic and triggering rubbish from others who think that this is prefectly okay to say. They seem to care less that two pedophiles repeatedly raped ues and that we could have been killed. Instead, it's okay to say rubbish like what's the big deal? It's just "experimenting" that all kids do.

How do you respond to that? Would you beat their ass into the ground? Or, would you just walk away?

We're fighting to keep our balance as best we can. Which means that we'll stick to our boundaries and never talk about this again with any immediate "family". We're sick of being constantly treated like crap by others who think this s**t is "normal communication". No it's not.

If the worst happened and they got raped, are we then supposed to instantly drop everything and help them because we're "experts" on this? We don't think so.

Do you get this s**t from others? How do you cope with this? We're just making it clear that boundaries are in place. Also, everyone is responsible for what they do and say. EVERYONE. You have to live with the consequences of everything you do and say. We still have to fight symptoms and trying to feel like we won't snap in two.
If we go public, we're uninsurable because of something that's not our fault.

But nobody wants to hear this.

Okay. If you don't, you can't have it both ways. You can't say go away one minute. Then the next go off on someone because "we're so concerned and you never say anything, blah blah blah". It doesn't work that way.

You have to protect yourself.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Some Stability for a change

How's your global holiday going? If you're having a nice one, try not to rub it in too much as you post comments here.

For some reason there's a little bit of stability. Symptoms are still there. But at times it's a little easier to focus. In the past, it's been non-stop dissociaitng. Imagine that for years and years.

We know that this doesn't obviously change overnight. Despite that, it's common for trauma survivors to feel like you fight all day long, and then you've moved maybe 1 inch. Then, the next day it's the same thing. You may find a helpful therapist and feel like you're healing from the cause of your trauma. But that frustration is still there.

Every day we check to see where our views are coming from. We know people's general location. If we wanted to, we could use our Google Satellite tool to actually check out your neighborhood. Then again, there are intl. laws against stuff like that.

The fact that we have loyal readers in over 32 countries tells us that millions need to be heard. Hopefully we can provide you a safe outlet to do that.

In return, we only ask that you link us everywhere you can. As long as it doesn't endanger your healing, think outside the box and try everywhere. There's "blatant spamming" and then there's "expressing your opinion". It's just a matter of how you post.

Back to the job hunting, shopping, cleaning, cooking.....

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Covering Bases

Just finished lunch. Now, it's back to job hunting and trying to cover all the bases regarding financial help.

We're really trying to do this in small segments. Anger and dissociating are still the worst symptoms right now. Another thing is in some foods with "natural flavors". What does that mean exactly? We've asked several people in different stores, and they have no clue. The point is that we don't have the tolerance for it. We're trying to use herbal supplements and other things to help keep our balance. However, at times you have to fight back really hard to not fall apart.

Nighttime is the worst. You fight symptoms all day long and then you're exhausted. You have to fight back because if you don't you'll fall apart. My multiples and little kid aren't saying it's one thing that's causing this. It just feels like all the trauma is coming out. Also, nobody's going to help you.

Do you just sit back, "go with your feelings" and fall apart? Or, do you fight back and always feel like you're going to snap in two?

We don't know of another way to do this. If you have a better idea, tell us.

We don't want to end up with literally nothing because of getting raped and nobody paying attention. We're not there yet. However, that fear is there for all trauma survivors (regardless of what you're dealing with).

Back to job hunting.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

It's the Network

Just talked to one of our East Coast sources re: contact numbers for various help:

Emergency Assistance 1-800-249-2007
Dept. of Transitional Assistance (potenital long-term rent help)

Violence Recovery Program 1-617-927-6250

Here, we also have links that we pre-screen to make sure they can help both guy and women survivors with PTSD. Saves you time and extra stress when you need help.

If you can suggest others, please post them in comments. Since this is free, we have no assistants to do this for us. Thanks!

Taking Things in Tiny Segments

An early happy holidays. Hope you're part of the world is calm and happy.

Here, we're really working to keep our balance. A suggestion: stay away from all triggering stuff. There's no reason to look (unless it's your job). If not, do something else. Also, we're going to just stick to trauma here in the blog. We've been getting way too much into another-progressive-blog content. That's not the purpose. If that's what you want, please go to the other guys.

Now, we're have to start selling stuff. We're sorting and trying to see what's the best return we can get on this. We're still applying for the new job(s).

If they don't come thru by the end of the year, then it's lots of scenarios:
Appeal our SSI (Supplemental Income) denial.
Apply for food stamps, temporary family aid and all the help we can get.
Others in the family maybe can help with rent and utilities.
If the worst happens, close our our current flat lease. Sell everything we have to for the maximum cash. Pay off all bills and then leave.

Where would we go? At this point, we're not sure. A major area (West Coast?) with hopefully more potential. We'd like to just not show up with nothing. Instead, have a link to get us there (school, work, a paid internship if possible). Our passport is valid. Which means that's another option to have. If it doesn't work in one area for whatever reason, go somewhere else.

Is this happening to you? If it is, what's helping you to cope? For us, keep your positive focus. Avoid all triggers. Think outside the box as much as you can. Try every job searching option you can. Also, if one "job expert" doesn't work out, keep going.

Post your comments and share with the rest of our global audience.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Fighting Symptoms

How's your Friday? Here, we're fighting to keep our balance and deal with symptoms. For some reason, body memory is a big problem. Physical pain and flashbacks as well.

How do stay grounded? What happens if you try to and nothing seems to work?

We just try to be aware of what's in the space we're in. If that doesn't work, then deep breathing. If that doesn't work, then we scream and fight to not black out. Because you have to.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

How High is Your Spam Filter Set?

These days, it seems like everybody's "spam filters" are set really high. What seems to be an actually helpful email ends up in the spam file. Nobody checks it. You're pissed off for them ignoring you. Then finally it's HERE (in the spam file).

It's kind of the same idea for trauma survivors to filter everything. Is this helpful to you or not? Is there some rule that says you must sit and take all the garbage someone throws out at you because it's ok? No, it's not.

This means unless it's for work, question it and see. Do I have to deal with this or not? With a lot of political stuff happening, be very careful. Is your intuition screaming this is _______? If it is, you're right. Is this helpful to your overall healing? In our case, it's not. If we don't filter this stuff, we end up with nightmares. It's like all of the trauma in the world is coming down on you. It's too much to deal with.

Does this mean you can never watch/listen to/read anything again? No. There are other sources and things that you can do. Another idea (if you have the money for it) is a virtual assistant.

Set aside all of the "we can't have offshore people doing our work" stuff for a minute and think. If someone else can cover a lot for you (at say $5 an hour), how much more free time will that give you for other things? Possibly more time to deal with your trauma. Maybe more time to find better treatment. Or, a way to make more money to cover treatment costs.

We're not telling you to do anything. We're just offering ideas that maybe will help others as well. Also because an ulgy truth is for whatever reason millions of people who say they're sick of what the Powers that Be are doing aren't doing anything about it. Why? Who knows.

Instead of endlessly analyzing this, why not do this? Just say, everyone is responsible for themselves. Nobody else is going to protect myself, my family or my overall balance. This doesn't mean go to some rubbish survivalist site and stock up on weapons because the world will end tomorrow and other crap. Just stay positively focused and be as proactive as possible.

Because at this point, what else can you do?

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A Rough Night

We feel really sad. It feels like practically everywhere we've turned to try and get help, nobody wants to listen, laughs at us. Or just treats us like dirt.

Why is that?

Yes, It is Another Triggering Day

As you're online today, be very cautious. There's LOTS of triggering stuff. It makes no sense. Yet, many people actually believe that this ______ will actually work.

How then do you deal with this? Fight the urge to save the world all by yourself. Concentrate instead on protecting yourself. Keep as many options open as possible. Do your online research and networking instead of depending on someone else.

Then, do something nice for yourself every day. It can be anything from a nice dinner to renting a DVD. It's not so much the cost of it. It's the idea that matters.

Have a nice day.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

How's Your Balance?

Tonight it's do some more cleaning and some online research.

It's still WAY too triggering online. Protect yourself as you go along. If you don't have to deal with it, you're right. It sucks and you have better things to do.
Dissociating is the big symptom right now. Nutrition helps to a certain extent. Aside from that, anger and a stuck fight-or-flight mechanism is still there. We feel like we're going to snap in two. You have to get it out. How do you not black out?
Does this happen to you?

We're getting a growing intl. audience. Lately lots of new readers in Russia, New Zealand, the U.K., Brazil and Canada. Help link us everywhere you can. Let's spread back into Asia, the Middle East and how about Africa as well.

Practical Online Security Tips (and not MSM Hacker Hype)

Here, we really try to stick to our only trauma information mantra. Yet, we'll break that this time to cover a lot of things hopefully in a helpful way.

We all know that Julian Assange's bail hearing is set for today. Sweden wants to extradite him for alleged rape and molestation charges. In Virginia, a grand jury is secretly working to see if there are charges to extradite him on.

Having said that all that, while we support the basic idea of Wikileaks, frankly we're sick of hearing hearing 24/7 global hype about what a babe magnet Assange is. Do we really need to know endless graphich details of his sex life? Do we really need to see his online dating profile? That's why we're staying away from this as much as possible.

Instead, we're concentrating on our online security. Here are some ideas that might help. These haven't been endlessly recycled from the MSM "expert Top 10 lists".

Anonymous is saying they're behind a lot of these hacks. Don't freak out and think that the world's coming to an end. It's not. Part of this is of course MSM hype to sell papers and fill airtime.

If someone wants to hack you, a key is to out think them to block the steps that they try. It doesn't matter if you have Windows 7, XP or you're using a Mac. Make a list of what someone could try to do to get control of your PC. Then, a counterpoint to block them.

The obvious one? Update your passwords. Most passwords for sites go up to about a 12 to 15 character limit (sometimes longer). Don't use a really basic one. Make it as creative and long as possible. If the hacker really wants your information, make them work for it.

Assange says his "Doomsday" file has a 256-key encription. Basically, that's the level of protection that governments and corporations use. Do you need that for your home use? Maybe not. Then again, just make it as hard as possible for the hacker.

Sites like My Space and Craig's List are notorious for rubbish content filled with phish links (to get your personal information). Our suggestion? Stay away from them.

Many hackers will steal legitimate content, sites and more to try and scam you. Look for any tiny mistake you can if you think it's a fake site. Check out any information that you think is being used to phish you.

Now, the most important point. Can anything be hacked? Yes. It's a matter of time, code writing skill and how big your ego is. Instead of getting caught up in the Wikileaks-Assange-How-Hot-is-He-in-Bed-Hype, turn that off and update your passwords to protect your content.

Keep your balance and your content.

Monday, December 13, 2010

It's a Global Thing

Hi to our growing global audience:

Ottawa, Canada
Auckland, NZ
The Bay Area
and many more

Please link us everywhere you can without hurting your overall healing.

Had a horrible night last night with lots of nightmares and lucid dreams. We had to scream and fight back to avoid being raped and killed. It doesn't matter that it's nightmares and lucid dreams. The point is in our experience you don't have a choice.

Later we had a nice lunch and that helped some. Despite that, there's a LOT of triggering stuff happening in the world. An idea: maybe we should have the world's first Global Triggering Index Site for Trauma Survivors? The govt. here still has the idiotic color code system that nobody cares about. Which means ours would be way cooler and actually serve a purpose.

If you don't have to deal with it, you're right, stay away. It's not worth it messing up your balance.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

#576 PTSD Protection Tips (online and off)

Latenight posting all over the place. Since there's so much rubbish online right now, it's challenging to find something that you can listen to. 1 billion You Tube clips again? Maybe not.

Instead, something that's condusive to maintaining your balance. This includes finding accurate information about PTSD and how to deal with it in a benefical way.

We've all heard really idiotic and insulting crap from various people (from the "experts" to the _______?). What keeps you from snapping and attacking them?

What helps us is boundaries. Unfortunately, you have to put these up even with people that you would think might do better. However, most don't want anything to do with you.

At times it's almost like getting raped all over again. Would you say this to a woman rape survivor? If you're a rational human being with any feelings at all, no. What then gives you the right to treat a guy like that?

Is it because that's the societal "norm"?
Is it because we're your worst nightmare?
Is it because you can't be bothered to show some human decency for at least 10 seconds?

People can come up with a million different reasons for not admitting that you exist. Our question for them? How do you justify these? How do you sleep at night? Yes, nobody needs to take on all the trauma in the world. However, the trauma survivor didn't ask for this to happen.

What then gives you the right to treat them this way?

Since we started this blog, we're proud to say we're pretty thorough in online security. Now, if we decided to out ourselves, we would be uninsurable. Only because of something that's not our fault. Also, for the next 4 years (thanks to Obama's "health care reform that isn't"), it's perfectly legal.

30% of the Stateside population has some form of PTSD. Yet, what does the MSM talk about instead? 50% of the population is on Facebook. All talk of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are essentially banned (except for the obligatory body count on the evening news before dinner).

But, we've decided that we can't save the world by ourselves. Instead, we use our niche to maintain our balance, our healing and then do what we can.

Last point. Everybody from Obama on down has to live with the consequences of their words and actions. This includes politicians, CIA assassins (that don't "officially" exist) bankers and others.

If you don't like something and don't do anything at all within your circumstances to try and change it, you have to live with that.

Faus un petit effort. Do what you can.

Covering Lots of Bases

A nice sunny day as we catch up on our online job applications and more. Since we don't have the virtual assistant, we have to do everything. But,that's ok.

Nurtrition seems to be a key in trying to cope with our symptoms. If you stay off the junk food and keep up with your nutrients, your system's more in balance which then helps to lessen physical symptoms. Then, you can focus better on the emotional aspects of it.

Do you have any tolerance for acidic foods? Can you still eat a lot of your favorites? Or, have you had to make big changes in your diet because of trauma? There are some former favorites we can't even look at without having flashbacks.

At times we feel like we're going to snap. Then again, what else can you do but keep fighting back?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Is Anybody Listening? (Contains possibly triggering content. Read at your own risk).

We're staying home for a while before it's back out for more errands. We also need some time to sit and get our thoughts out.

How are your symptoms these days? Does anyone take you seriously if you talk about trauma or anything connected to that?

We've spent all week fighting different parts of the bureaucracy. Everywhere we turn, it feels like nobody wants to listen to us.

We're not 60+.
We're not a vet.
Which means that if you don't a nice neat catagory, "experts" in various govt. and social service agencies suddenly become clueless on how to deal with "disabilities".

Here in the States, it's legal to discriminate against a job applicant with PTSD. If you try to get help, some people want nothing to do with you. Because of something that's not your fault.

If you try to get social service help and do, 99% of it is only one time. How then do you cover other things like food, having a phone number, a car and other neccessities?

Do people listen to you? Or, do they just blow you off because you're their worst nightmare?

Does anyone pay attention as you battle symptoms and try to deal with everything else?

Do you hear the rubbish "weakness isn't tolerated" in your area?

Much of the time we get the feeling that others want nothing to do with us. We didn't ask to be raped and have all of this pain and humiliation in trying to survive and get help. But also it's ok to just blow us off or say completely idiotic and insulting things?

Talk to ten people on the street and meintion PTSD to them. Odds are almost all 10 will instantly think of vets. Now, tell them that civilians have PTSD too. Many want to hide or for you to just go away.

30% of the Stateside public has some form of PTSD. Is this every mentioned on the corporate MSM? No. However, Time Magazine will do a story called "Do the Taliban have PTSD"?

How f****d up is this picture?

How do you make yourself heard? Lately, we've picked up a lot of Israeli readers. How do you cope with daily trauma? Pick a country: Russia, Argentina and other places with lots of traumatic stuff. What helps you to cope with death squads, corrupt governments and various other things?

Here, for much of the population it's out-of-sight-out-of-mind. As long as it doesn't affect me directly, I could care less. If that's not true, then why has the same s**t been going on for so long?

It's because not all but many of the "big names" who say they're trying to bring about actual change aren't. Instead, it's write another pointless book. Go on a lecture tour. Put out yet another documentary DVD that tells us "the inside story of ____".

No it doesn't. It's just one person getting rich off of mass misery and apathy. It's not my problem. Blame the f*****g politicians.

Meanwhile, nothing changes.

We're not a celebrity. If we go public, would anybody pay attention?

Friday, December 10, 2010

Boundaries can be a good thing

How's your battle against symptoms going? Do you still have to screen a lot of triggering stuff? We have to edit everything. We've also trashed a lot of extremely triggering material that we'v had for far too long. Think of it as ongoing spring cleaning?

How are your boundaries working for you? We politely but firmly stick to ours. This means using tools in a creative way to accomplish your goal: protecting your balance.

This can be a wide range of things:
putting the right message on your email and voicemail
checking these only twice a day (do you really need to do this every 5 minutes?)
If somebody else is triggering and won't back off, hang up or walk away. There's no point in sinking to their level and then having to apologize later. You have better things to do with your time.
Don't leave any obvious clues in your online content so someone can out you. This doesn't mean be ultra paranoid 24/7. Just careful.

Finally, if you don't need to deal with something, turn it off or don't spend money on it. Why sit there when you don't need to (unless the boss tells you to)? Life's too short.

Also, if you have a strong opinion on something, make yourself heard. The trick is how you do it in this dog-eat-dog 24/7 corporate Net world.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Does this happen to you (PTSD Discrimination)?

Spent all day fighting the bureaucracy in trying to get help with paying for therapy.

For our intl. readers, here in the States there's Medicaid. It's a program designed to help low income people pay for various types of medical treatment. We've been trying to use it as a way to pay for our PTSD therapy.

We went thru national offices. The people there said we can't help you. Go to the state office. The state office people say we only work with people over 60 or people who are vets (we're neither). If you talk to literally anyone else, either they don't know what other agencies are doing. Or, they have no clue on how to help a guy rape survivor with PTSD who's not a vet.

Does this happen in your part of the world?

We're now down to 3 final sources. If none of them can help us, we won't appeal our supplemental income denial. We don't have time to do that, find jobs and look for potential help with rent, utlitities and food all at the same time.

Can you get help where you live? Lots of our intl. readers have stronger social service safety nets. Here, it's the opposite. One national Health and Human Service agency boss actually said if necessary, go to an emergency room for treatment. That way, they have to treat you. Apparently he doesn't know that many people there don't know how to diagnose or deal with various degrees of PTSD.

We have a problem and we want to get help. But nobody wants to deal with us. So the answer is to always go an emergency room?

Does this happen to you?

If we can't get answers to our questions we won't appeal our denial. Instead we'll get new jobs and just deal with this as best we can. What other option do we have here?

If a job or school is lined up (and the student loans as well), we could emigrate to study or work. The question is where would we go?

We feel like we're getting penalized for something that's not our fault.

Any comments?

Sunny, Warmer and Looking Up

How's your day? Here, it's warming up a little for a change. Also no snow to shovel. A good sign.

Keeping our seratonin level up (mainly thru diet) today, and it's helping our balance a little. We still have symptoms. The despair is still there. Then again, we're not responsible for others who just don't get it for whatever reason.

NOTE: A lot of those other sites are putting out end-of-the-year fundraising appeals. Keep in mind we have none of these here:

An online shop with coffee mugs, t-shirts and any other marketing gimmick you can imagine.
A newsletter you pay $19.95 per year for.
CD's, DVD's, or pirate ones that we hope somebody else won't notice.

We offer 100% free information. Coping with PTSD, being a trauma survivor, and online security tips that a consultant would charge you a fortune for.

We could charge you here. But making money off trauma? We don't think so.

Does anybody else offer you this global mix 24/7 for free? Again, we don't think so.

In return, we only ask one thing. Please link us everywhere you can (unless it messes up your healing). Readers in 32 countries proves that quality content and word-of-mouth promotion does work.

Only about 158 countries to go.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Is Anyone Paying Attention to You?

Staying in tonight to catch up on some latenight voicemail and online content.

We'll be very careful as we write this. But bear with us if some of this is unintentionally triggering.

Assange is in jail. Now, it seems like everyone remotely connected to Wikileaks is getting hacked by "mysterious forces". Can we prove who's doing this? No. However, all of this brings a few points to mind.

What's a key factor in Assange's case? "Alleged rape" by two women in Sweden. He says he's innocent and a victim of a political frameup. One of the women "allegedly" has CIA ties. This means that the sensational aspects are getting way more attention than actually dealing with a rape case.

Yes this has all the elements:
a man of mystery
a global network set to bring down other global networks that don't "officially exist"
Did we mention sex?

Now, is there any talk about how hard it is for women to be taken seriously when they are raped? Is anyone talking about guys who get raped? No. Once again, all that matters is hype to make a profit.

Can you donate to Wikileaks? Not for much longer. Key means of support are all giving in to government pressure.

This case is proof that society will deal to a point with women who get raped. What if this case involved a woman head of Wikileaks and two Swedish guys? Would this be getting the same amount of global hype? Would millions attack the guys for allowing themselves to be raped?

If you talk to the average person about someone having PTSD, 99.9 percent of the time they'll automatically think vet. They'll NEVER think civilian who's possibly a guy rape survivor.

Why is that? Stupidity? Lack of education? Arrogance and a refusal to deal with reality? We don't know.

Now, back to our symptoms. We're still looking for the new jobs. The bureaucracy to try and get help with rent and utilities is rough. We have to protect ourselves.

We still have despair and some symptoms. At night, we cry ourselves to sleep. At times I don't have answers for my multiples and little kid (how come nobody will admit that we exist? How come millions will pay attention to two Swedish women who might have been raped. But nobody will pay attention to us?).

How would you answer questions like that?

Bear with us. We're trying really hard to keep this a trauma only blog. Wikileaks doesn't need any more free publicity.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

An Extremely High Trigger Level

Right now, the triggering level is extremely high. Our suggestion? Unless you have to look at this stuff, don't do it. Do you want to have symptom problems as a result of that(more than you have now)?

Trust your intuition and protect yourself.

Be Aware of the Effects of Things on You

Today is a VERY HIGH triggering event day. Pay attention to your intuition and avoid everything unless you have to look at it.

Another tip for the day. Pay attention to what you do and how it affects you. Is this second nature, or something that maybe you could change in some way? Odds are you haven't thought about how it affects you and your healing.

We've made several changes in many areas. We've saved both time and money. Which leaves you more time for other things. Then, possibly more time to make more money.

Do what's best for your balance and overall healing. All we're syaing is consider making some changes if needed to help that process.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Online Security Tips for Trauma Survivors (some possibly stolen from Wikileaks)

These days, lots of triggering stuff everywhere you look. Is somebody trying to hack your personal information? Lots to be aware of.

Really, that's the operative word. Awareness. Not paralyzed by fear.

How then do you protect yourself? As a public service to our growing global trauma survivor audience, we're going to start adding new links on the left side of the main page. We can't tell you how we get some of these. But we feel it's necessary to protect ourselves (despite this being caused by trauma that's not our fault).

Do you need bodyguards? Hopefully not. Then again, online you can cover your tracks in multiple ways (everything from email to online phone services and more).

Does Wikileaks use these? To possibly a higher degree, yes they do. It's the same idea though. Don't leave an obvious trail for some security service to follow. That's not just some MSM adventure lifestyle filler. That's real security.

We're covering new job leads tonight and trying more social service sources to see if they can help us out. We will not end up homeless for a third time.

If you have any secret documents to leak, please don't send them here. Wikileaks has over 300 mirror sites to help them out. Send it to them because they're equipped to handle it. The only subject here is trauma and when necessary, some current events that are related to trauma. If you want yet another progressive political blog, please go elsewhere.

Have a fun night.

Screaming to Focus

How's your Monday? We still have to fight to focus and feel like we have some sense of balance. We'll stick to our new diet routine and see how that works.

How do you keep your sense of balance? What helps you to stay grounded? Holding onto solid things or something else?

Stay away from all triggering stuff as much as possible. You're right if you think there's nothing new going on. There isn't.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

This Just In. We Still Have No Connection to Wikileaks

Just like the Wikileaks case, the rumors continue here.

Once again, we have no connection to Wikileaks. A lot here is anonymous. But:
We don't know where Julian Assange is staying (as in the street number).
We don't know what his disposable mobile number is today.
What's his Skype user name? We don't know.
Would he call us if we did? Probably not.

However, we do support him and wish him well.

Big news for today. One of our medical sources says that there's a connection between hypoglycemia and PTSD. If your blood sugar crashes, then your symptoms flare up. If your sugar is stable, then your chi is more stable. You can then better deal with your emotional symptoms.

Have you dealt with this in your healing? If you have, how has it worked for you? We're changing some of our diet around and we'll see what comes up. We'll also talk to some other sources as well.

More as it happens.

How's Your Day?

Taking a break before we go back to more job apps online.

Today there's a little more clairty at times. We still have the symptoms. But also, it makes sense to keep up on your herbal supplements and the rest of it. Junk food depletes nurtients in your body. So there has to be a connection between that and symptoms.

Do you feel like you have a better balance? What helps you to stay in a good groove throughout the day?

Stay away from all triggering stuff as much as possible. If your intuition says this is a waste of time, you're right. Listen to it.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Protect Yourself at all Costs

Just like Wikileaks, trauma survivors always have to protect themselves. Online, there are lots of free tools that you can use (in addition to the content that you post).

The basic idea is to block hackers that want to steal your personal information or out you. Don't leave any obvious dots that can be connected. You can also do things like use encrypted email, fake ISP addresses and more. Sorry, we don't give away all of our secrets.

Now, will you need to use these every day like Julian Assange and his colleagues at Wikileaks? Probably not. Then again, you can't just kick back and do nothing. Adapt this to your needs as you go along.

We're still fighting the bureaucracy and symptoms to try and keep our balance. Had lunch with a friend yesterday to talk this over. Her suggestion? Apply for everything to maximize your odds to protect yourself to be able to keep your stability.

Also though, keep in mind that in this global depression, there are social safety net tools to use. But there's also the emotional aspect of it as well:

Who goes to a food bank? Just dirt poor homeless people?
Who's on food stamps? Alcoholics or middle class people who never dreamed they'd need to use them?

We're not saying don't use these things. They're there and if necessary you do use them. But it's kind of ignorant in our opinion to just say use it and shut up. Because others who may criticize you might be on them soon as well.

Protect yourself and have a nice day.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

We are not connected with Wikileaks

Hi to our growing worldwide audience. Some of the newest readers are in Stockholm, London and various parts of the States. We also have some loyal readers in Dublin and in and around London. Is Julian Assange one of our readers?

We don't know. We could actually use a tool to get a satellite view of their location. Then again, if it IS Jullian Assange, we're sure he and his crack team have ways to block us. That's ok.

But, for those who continue to spread rumors about us, we have no connection to Wikileaks.

Went to see the Supplemental Income advocate earlier today. Lots of applications and red tape to deal with. One key element? You get penalized for being responsbible and actually trying to save money. Under their system you must have less than $2,000 in your account(s). If you have more, you get penalized. This means if you want to save you have to withdraw it and stash it at home. Then again, with the banks these days maybe that's a good thing?

You can't apply for food stamps until your SSI is approved. If you need help with your rent or utilities, you must have a cutoff/eviction notice first before you apply. Also, there's no gurantee that you'll be approved.

Does this happen in other countries? Do you or anyone you know go to a food bank? Have you been homeless in the past? We've been homeless twice because of PTSD.

Keep in mind there's more going on right now than Wikileaks. Which we have no connection to.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Take Things in Tiny Segments

These days, it feels like we're getting bombarded with stimulus everywhere. We won't go thru all the triggering stuff and mess up your day. But how do you cope with it?

Turn it off. Or, just think for a second. Do I have to see this, or not? If not, turn it off. Then, there are other things you can do and be quite happy with.

Tomorrow, we'll see the SSI advisor. Then, we'll have to apply for Medicaid and food stamps. How long will this take? SSI, two months. The rest, maybe 1.

Are you dealing with anything like this? How are you coping?