Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 6 and Still no Refined Sugar

We're still sticking to our no-refined-sugar diet. Lots of lemon juice in water. And there's a little more clarity at times.

It also helps that it's Friday. Hope your day is going good.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Back to the Grind

Day 4 now of no refined sugar. It's still hard to focus at times and to not feel like you're getting bombarded with stimulus. But many sources say that the withdrawl does even out over a period of time. One key is to eat as healthy as you can to help cope with that stress.

More job leads right now. If you're also looking, no surprise. There's more pressure to cut back, work for less money. And, produce more in a shorter period of time. The impression we're getting in some places is, this is our quota. Yet, in our opinion they're not allowing for all the variables that can get in the way. So this means go elsewhere.

How do you manage to keep your balance right now? If you have a great idea we want to know about it. We can't pay you for it. But send it in anyway.

Back to work.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Lots of Triggers Today (contains graphic content)

If you're a trauma survivor, be very careful today. There are lots of really twisted triggers in many places. Much of the MSM that's pushing this stuff follows the Brittany Spears "it IS news, damnit!" mentality. And unless you cut into the profit margin, they couldn't care less what you think.

How do you cope then? Edit everything. Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels bad, don't do it.

It's been three days now with no sugar and very little acidic food. We're fighting to wake up and deal with lots of anger. Also, body memory is still a problem. No luck yet in finding the new therapist. But you have to keep going.

Finally, try to find a outlet where you can be heard and not endanger yourself. If someone wanted to out you, what would they look for?

The same things that the govt. looks for when they data mine all of our communications. They're looking for a pattern (key words and phrases). Therefore, mix it up as much as possible (especially with your usernames and passwords). If you really want to hack me that badly, work for it.

Because in the dog-eat-dog world of the Net, this rule applies. Consistent quality content will generate interest. As long as our message gets out, that's the important thing.

If you can link us without endangering yourself, please do it. Our audience is now in 13 countries.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Screaming to be Heard

Think of the Net and the billions of sites and blogs on it. You can literally find anything you want. Yet, how many times do you see anything about PTSD that isn't exclusively about vets?

No disrespect to them and those that need help. But these days, that's one difficult part of speaking out. There's only so much time in the day. And if you choose to be heard thru the MSM, there are only so many ways that you can try. Why? Because that's their rule.

It has to fit into a nice and neat soundbite. If it involves rape survivors, women are ok to talk about. But under no circumstances will we talk about guy survivors. Is it because of some federal regulation? No. It's just a really stupid attitude.

If you have a rape crisis center and want any type of federal funding, by law you can ONLY say "women rape survivors" in your content. Why?

Which is why we started this blog. If the MSM (and much of the progressive) wants no part of us, ok. We'll start our own network.

The difference here? It's all free content. Much of it comes from public information that many times nobody else has presented.

We make no profit here at all. All we ask if you come here is to link us everywhere you can WITHOUT endangering yourself in the process.

You can get caught up in the anger of the dog-eat-dog online world. Or, you can channel your energy into something positive. Which is what we've chosen to do.

Have a nice day.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Trying to Find a Therapist

No luck yet in finding the new therapist. Everything still feels really raw. We have no tolerance for acidic food right now. Does this mean it's time to go veggie? We don't know.

We really have to fight hard to focus. Body memory still comes back. The physical pain of being raped. The emotional pain of everywhere you look nobody cares.

What are you supposed to do (aside from you have to keep going)?

Maybe a good lunch will help to feel better.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

It's Really Rough at the Moment (contains graphic content)

Kicking back for a while after no sleep at all last night. Is it only because of trauma? Is it because of our alkaline/acidic balance being totally out of whack? We're not sure.

But at the moment, everything is really raw. There's lots of anger, frustration. And crippling despair.

But we keep going.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Be Aware of the Effects on You (contains graphic content)

How's your weekend? Here, 90F and the pool is waiting.

But first, something really scary happened last night. We made the mistake of eating something that was in the past way to acidic. We thought, maybe now this will be different? If you're immune system is stronger, then it's not a problem.

Wrong. It just aggrevated symptoms and we had to fight really hard. We didn't know where we were. What's real and what isn't? Dissociating was really horrible. Today, lots of water later there's more balance.

So what's the key here? This is just something that we think works for us. It's based on our personal experience and study of what's public knowledge. If this helps you, great. If it doesn't, tell us something that's better.

Stimulants (refined sugar, salt, and caffeine) all stimulate your nervous system. Everyone has different levels of sensitivity. Too much will make all of your symptoms worse.

Another reason is highly acidic processed food. Example: salsa. Most name brands have a high amount of salt and cilano acid. Ideally, you want a 80% akalaine/20% acidic mix in your diet.

If you eat too much acid (and additives), it can aggrevate PTSD symptoms, depression.
And some studies say it can affect other conditions (ranging from ADD and ADHD to fibromyalgia).

How do you change this? Various "experts" say drink lots of water. How much? The amounts range from six glasses to a gallon a day. Water does help to maintain the chi flow in your body (caffeine depletes it). But too much water could also wash out vitamins and other nutrients out of your body.

For us, 9 liters a day seems to be about right. Also, when you sit down to relax, turn everything off. Don't read, listen and watch something as you eat (the Jay Leno Syndrome). You may think you're hot at multi-tasking. But it's actually not good for you.

Things feel really raw right now. So we're sticking with no news at the moment.

Hope this helps. If you have comments or a better idea, post here.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Friday Frustration

It really is the weekend. But also, lots of frustration.

For guy survivors, how do you cope with the feeling that the entire support system is against you? We just got thru talking to someone at a well-known national crisis center. And one point that we made? If you're a crisis center and you want funding, NEVER EVER mention guy survivors. Also, did you know that in some laws here, to get federal funding for your center you MUST ONLY say "women rape survivor" in all of your materials?

Does this happen in other parts of the world?

What keeps you from giving into the anger and frustration from this? For us, one thing that helps is to say, right. You don't want to see us? Ok. We'll set up our own network.

We have many of the same problems that a woman survivor does. Yet, it's more what, "socially acceptable" to always mention her and not us?

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Time for a Break(Contains Graphic Content)

Right now, peace and quiet. No news. No depressing stuff that it seems like many don't care about. All trauma survivors have their limits (as far as stimulus goes). And at the moment, we've turned it all off.

How long will our break last? We don't know. And that's ok. Sports scores seem to be the only thing that's not a trigger. We check the e and voice mail twice a day. And that's it. We rarely give out our contact information (unless it's a job lead).

How do you cope with this overload? Unless you're on call 24/7, what helps you to set boundaries? At the moment, we feel like we're about 7 steps ahead of everybody else. Why are you just now figuring that out? We knew this months ago.

More as it happens. And, if you need us to save the world, we're not available.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

How's Your Focus?

It must be Wednesday. Unless your anywhere from London (U.K., not Canada) going eastward. We are a global blog.

How's your focus? Despair still happens and we still take lots of breaks. Turn off the Blackberry, go for a walk. Or, we just curl up in a corner and rock back and forth.

The really sick and twisted flashbacks still happen. We still fight back and at times feel like we're THIS CLOSE to snapping. But we keep going.

One reason? Everyone that we trust say the same thing. It's not just one thing that's causing this to flood out. It's everything coming out all at once.

Triggers are really raw right now. Sights, sounds, colors. A former favorite food. If you're not careful, one can lead to a chain of millions. Which means you have to fight for hours to nto fall apart.

Do you still have blackouts? What helps you to stay focused?

Feel free to post your thoughts.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

No Caffeine. But Still Feeling Empty

Looks like flights will start again in Europe. But now who's fault is it for stopping them?

We've been off caffeine for a few days now. And we're not sure. Is still feeling empty from lack of caffeine? Trauma? Or everything together?

Everybody has those moments of what's the use. But we just keep going. The flashbacks and body memory still come out at times (usually the worst ones).

What helps you to keep going? We stay away from the news as much as possible. Most of the time we feel like we see the whole picture. And then, what's the point?

This can lead to lots of quiet days at home. But that's all right. We still can't listen to tunes for more than ten seconds at a time. Not sure why.

If despair is really bad we just curl up in a corner and rock back and forth. Because it's not our fault.

Monday, April 19, 2010

We Had Nothing to Do With It

Monday and the volcanic ash is now heading west (maybe).

We're still staying away from the news as much as possible. But also, lots of emptiness today. It's not the usual down day that we all have. Instead, you know you're there. But it takes a lot of effort to do tiny things.

Maybe some chocolate chip ice cream would help.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

What's Real and What's Not(Contains Graphic Content)

Welcome to our new readers in Europe. If you're stuck somewhere because of the volcanic ash, hope it turns out ok for you.

Meanwhile, no ash here. But, we're having a real problem at times of focusing. We try to hold onto solid objects in the space we're in. And it's hard to know what's real and what's not. We scream to not fall apart. Because there's no other choice.

Then, at the end of the day we're exhausted. Are you coping ok right now?

The latest on the volcanic ash is nobody definately knows. We'll avoid all conspiracy theories here so we don't trigger anyone.

Yes, tommorow is Monday.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Feeling Really Wiped Out

Listening online to some stuff about the first Prime Minister's debate in the U.K. We're totally exhausted from fighting symptoms all day. Body memory and dissociating are really tough right now. You try to ground yourself, and at times nothing helps.

What do you do then? You have to keep going. Hope you're doing better.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Let's Cover the Bases

Still fighting lots of symptoms. We try to focus. But at times we feel like we're going to snap.

Is it that we're tired? Is it low blood sugar? Is it all of that AND trauma flooding out? We're not sure.

But you have to keep going.

Protect yourself at all costs.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Fighting to Be Heard

Welcome to Monday. Unless it's already Tuesday where you are.

Do you feel like you're being heard these days? Here, almost all of the mental health system is geared towards battered women. They need help. But in this huge city, there's only ONE support group for male survivors. At $120 per session.

Meanwhile, the MSM continues to know that guy survivors exist. But they'll never be publically spoken about.

So what's the answer? Create your own network.

Consider many big name media people and activists who the MSM refuses to deal with. What have they done? Everybody's going to their own websites and donations or "fellowships" with think tanks (which really is a salary).

In our case, a fellowship isn't an option. But, we said we'll build our own network.

Now, we're proud to say we're read in 12 countries. It's 24/7 free global trauma content. We're pretty sure nobody else has our global mix (that's free, by the way).

One reason? In a crisis the last thing you need is to call a crisis line or go to a site and wonder: do they have PTSD training? Does a guy survivor freak them out? It's hard enough as it is on a daily basis.

Our links are all to sites/crisis lines that have flexible PTSD-trained people. To help ease the pressure on you (hopefully).

Having lived abroad, we know that in many other places mental health problems are a huge stigma. A lot of psychiatrists out there might disagree with us. But PTSD isn't a mental illness. It's a multi-faceted health problem that affects your body mind/connection.

Why doesn't the "traditional" health sector take a holistic look at this? Answer: profit. And unfortunately, not all but many holistic people are still charging high fees for their services.

Here, we don't make a profit. We could give in and have Google ads. But what's the point of profiting off misery? The corporations do it. But not here.

Time for dinner. And if you're anywhere east of India, enjoy your breakfast.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Is There a Connection?

Just finshed a spicy lunch. Soon, it's time to check out a really big bookstore close by. Which is supposed to have practically everything you need. We'll see about that.

How are your symptoms? A lot of sources are telling us that there's a strong connection between sugar and cancer, trauma and other problems. Since there's a mind/body connection, why not a sugar connection as well? The more sugar you use, the more your feeding these problems.

What helps you to stay off sugar and other stimulants? Post your comments.

Friday, April 9, 2010

It Really Is Friday

How's your day? How are you dealing with your symptoms?

We're still editing everything. Weird triggers can come out of nowhere. And then potentially tie up your whole day in violently fighting back.

Do you have PTSD balckouts? It's been a long time since we've had any. But hyperawareness and other symptoms are still there.

One idea that might help. Change your focus when dissociating happens. It can be literally anything non-threatening. If you change your focus your mind and body are dealing with a different set of stimulus.

If you have something else that works, post here. Or email to ptsdsurvival at

Thursday, April 8, 2010

We're Almost Everywhere

Greetings to our new Chinese readers. A late Happy Chinese New Year yong Zhongwen zenme shuo? (How do you say this in Chinese?).

It's almost Friday. How are your symptoms today? Ours are still severe at times. Which means boundaries are really critical right now. It feels like (in our opinion) that triggers are everywhere. As we write this, no news at all. It's way too extreme.

Our suggestion? Don't dwell on the feeling that nobody cares (if you have that). Instead, try to focus on positives. You didn't give in and eat a Big Mac Set today? Good for you. Didn't stock up on two cases of Corona Light (for tomorrow night)? Again, nice job.

Is there value in facing trauma head on? As debilitating as it can be, yes. Because it has to come out. Use what you feel is best.

And for our Chinese readers, keep this in mind. Not all Americans are crazy. It may seem like that right now. But it's not true.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Keep Your Focus

It must be Wednesday. We're sticking to editing everything. And when we do try to check the news, 99% of the time we get more accurate information from abroad. What does THAT tell you?

In herbs, Tumeric twice a day seems to be helping some. We still have symptoms. But we're trying everything we can to stay healthy. Another key: be aware of the effects of something on you. Instead of just doing something because it's second nature, think for a second. Why are we doing this? Do we HAVE to do this?

If it's for your job, that's one thing. But if not, can you do something else? Pay attention to your intution. Tip for the day: the more you stay off of junk food, the sharper your intuition can be. It's like any skill. You work at it and it gets better.

Back to the applications.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Be Very Careful(Contains Graphic Content)

How are your symptoms these days? Be very cautious.

Why? Because there are lots of really severe triggers out there. Another one: the frustration in that it seems that nobody cares about any of it. Which could potentially add to your stress.

We edit everything. At times we have really long stretches of quiet and don't really know what's going on. But that's all right. Because you have to protect yourself.

Unfortunately, the MSM still follows the Brittany Spears "people love this stuff. So it MUST be news" mode of thinking. How do you respond? In our view, refuse to be a part of their profit margin.

Activism is fine. But in the case of a trauma survivor (in our opinion), you have to be selective. Take small segments that you feel you can cope with. But protection comes first.

Hope you find a balance that works for you.

Monday, April 5, 2010

It's Amazing How Much You Can Get Done While on Hold

Trying to get thru to the universal health care office. The average hold time is around 90 minutes. Good thing we have the Skype number. At this rate, we're probably saving $500 a month on our phone bill.

It is amazing how much you can do while on hold.

Symptoms are still hitting hard. We have to scream and fight to focus when we get up in the morning. Now though we've added tumeric (a very good herb) to our holistic mix to see how it goes. It's one of the most beneficial ones in producing antioxidants for your system.

Lucid dreams still happen at the worst times. You're trying to focus on another person. And meanwhile you're fighting off lucid dreams of them trying to rape and kill you. Does this happen to you?

We still carry a weapon with us when we go out. Flashbacks and other stuff still happens when we're in a crowded place or driving. How do you cope with flashbacks when driving? Have you ever had an accident when this happens?

Stay away from the news today. Way too violent and too many dangerous people running around unchecked.

24 minutes on hold. Another 66 to go?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

What Does "Detoxify" Mean?

Kicking back and watching a safe TV show online. We're trying to stay off sugar as much as possible. Maybe unintentionally we overdid it for a few days. And then it was really severe lower back pain.

You stretch. You do your tai chi and meditation. And you detoxify as much as possible. Now, there's a little more relief.

But what does "detoxify" mean, exactly? Only a diet? Going on a fast?

We think it's more than that. If you accept the body/mind connection, then it includes other stuff as well.

Your emotions. The environment. Do you really need to be on your mobile phone 12 hours a day?

What usually happens when you talk about potential holistic treatments/ideas? Maybe a celeb writes a book and does the usual book tour. The MSM is used to soundbites (carefully worked out with the producer beforehand).

Then what? The establishment (fill in the blank with the apporpriate agency) has a go at them. How do you stop them? Publically trash them. Snow the audience with tons of studies from "established" scientists that obviously make the celeb look ridiculous. Then maybe they'll sell a few more books. After that, they'll shut up and go away.

What happens if they don't?

Intl. human rights law says that health care for a countries citizens is a human right. Not a corporate profit margin. But a human right. And like anything else, information is power.

If people who need help get the proper information to make the most informed decision, what happens then? You take the profit margin out of what is a human right. The rest of the world has no problem with that concept. Federal govt. employees have no problem with that.

But the rest of us aren't allowed the same right?

FYI: Some doctors will tell their patients that a certain treatment is the best thing to do. Studies back this up. You really should do this. But then, if the same doctor has the same disease, that's the LAST thing they would do. Why? Because they have access to the necessary information.

Do you see anything immoral about that at all?

And, for all of you diehard capitalists reading this who believe that the "free market" is the answer to everything; not all but much of the health care industry is not doing it's job. If you're a CEO of a corporation and the staff is messing up, do you keep the same system? Or, do you sack people where needed and make changes?

You can't play it both ways.

Our local universal care card came through. Tomorrow we'll call to find out more. Can we get by with only this? Or, do we have to have two plans to cover everything?

Obama keeps saying that single payer isn't "currently viable here in the States". Apparently, he didn't get the memo about single payer programs in San Francisco, Boston and Houston?

Information really is power.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Nice Long Weekend

How's your weekend? We need a break after what feels like endless dissociating and other symptoms. They still happen. But we're sticking to our holistic routine. And tai chi and meditation at times help to focus a little better.

Other things that can help you to focus:

Be aware of solid things around you.
Think about other things to take your mind off trauma.
On a hot day, go swimming. Here, the highs lately have been around 78F. The pool is about 33F. And that does actually help somewhat.

The universal health coverage office says that our application is still pending. Hopefully a decision will come soon. The state high risk application was also sent in. We really don't want to go back to a system that says you have a pre-existing condition when we don't. Here, the high risk system is administered by a well-known national commercial firm. How messed up is that?

At times we still have horrible flashbacks to where we used to live. And to situations where literally everyone you thought would helped you laughed at you and treated you like s**t. It's exhausting. But you have to keep going.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Disclaimer

Lately, some people have had questions about our content. Hopefully this will help to answer them:

We never intentionally trigger anyone here. At the same time, we won't lie when we talk about how rough fighting PTSD can be. You can't please everybody.

To all attorneys who are checking us out for potential business. We're not prescribing anything here. We're only presenting information that has helped us. If you wanna try it too, fine, Hope it helps you. If not, find something else that helps.

As always, feel free to comment here or email to ptsdsurvival at

The Crushing Full Effects of Trauma (Contains Graphic Content)

Really struggling today with the full effects of trauma flooding out. It's like literally all of the despair is hitting all at once.

Our previous therapist can't be bothered to talk to us anymore. Another person that we've talked to for temporary help says we need to find a new therapist. But, there's still no word on health care here. And, we can't afford to shop around for a new therapist (at roughly $100 a session until you find the right one).

No matter what, protection comes first.