Knowing Where You Are

Do you always know where you are? If dissociaiting is really bad at times we don't know where we are. You try all the standard grounding techniques. Yet, nothing works.

What's next?

It feels like everyone who laughed at you and treated you like shit is trying to beat you down. You know you have to fight back because if you don't the "you're _________" loop will keep playing in your head, and you feel like you can't stop it.
If you don't feel back, do you feel like you're going to snap? Do you feel like you're going to just vanish down the drain and die? Then, nobody will care anymore?

Take it in tiny segments.

The FAQ Section

As the support grows, we'll be adding answers to various questions that keep coming up. Just scroll down to the section you want.

Personal:

Is the really a mind/body connection?- It's actually one thing and not two. All interconnected.

Do PTSD symptoms ever go away?- Many say not completely. Symptoms will lessen. However, there's always something there. Just one opinion.

How come others won't listen to me?- Generally speaking, not all but many won't listen because you're their worst nightmare. The last thing they want to do is face that head on. Which means the easier thing to do is to imagine you're not there.

At times, they might say you need help. However, just go away. What do you do then?

Why do others say it's my fault?- Because they're cruel and various other things.

Why do people say "sexual assault" and not rape?- Because it's like saying "enhanced interrogation techniques" instead of torture. In that case, it's not so harsh. It's patriotic. Also, it won't get you fired. If you say rape, we just don't talk about things like that.

Is it common to develop multiples personalities after trauma?- Generally yes. It depends on the situation, the person and what happens afterwards. However, that's a perfectly normal protection mechanism.

What percentage of the population has some form of PTSD?- Ten percent.


Legal:
Is there a National Victim Compensation Fund in the States?- No. Many states have their own. How much you could get depends on the case and what the statute of limitations is in that state.

Is it true that rape crisis centers can't mention anything about guy rape survivors in their content (online, publications, etc.) if they want to get federal funding?- Yes. It's actually illegal to mention anything about guy survivors.

Fight to Focus

More fighting to focus and not black out from dissociating. Take things in tiny segments. Screen everything. Don't give into the urge to watste your time on triggering stuff.

Anger still comes out. We feel like we're going to snap in two. We can't afford a therapist, so we do the next best things. What else can we do?

Fight to focus.

An Early Happy May Day and other stuff

Taking a break for a second from the daily battle against symptoms, an early Happy May Day to all the working masses worldwide. If you're fortunate enough to be really rich, good for you. Also, if you feel like sharing some of your success, you know where to find us.

We still have to screen everything. At times triggering stuff comes out of nowhere, and it's hard to find your balance again. We're also sticking to taking things in tiny sugements. This can at times mean 30 second blocks, but you do what you have to.

My multiples and little kid see to agree that it's more trauma flooding out. It's rough when you feel like the rest of the world could care less. Not everybody's like that. However, mnny have been and continue to be. That's why outside of this blog, we almost never talk about trauma because what's the point? This means that short of a new therapist we do the best we can with other sources.

We still keep a weapon in the room we're in or in our bag when we go out. Not always, but at times we just feel better to know that it's there. Does this fear ever go away? We don't know. Then again, it doesn't matter in the sense you have to protect yourself.

Thanks for the support. We'll stick to our no-ads policy here. In return, we only ask that you link us everywhere you can to LEGITIMATE sources. Please, no Russian Mafia-buy-gold-we-think-Obama-sucks garbage sites. Nobody needs that.

How Much Can You Multi-Task?

A busy Friday with lots of job applications and also looking for a new apt. If the new jobs come thru here and we can stay in the current place, great. But just in case, we want to have as many options as possible. Can we save money by downsizing, or not with $4 a gallon gas coming soon? We want to go back to school. But also, it only makes sense to study something you're happy in (versus being economically trapped and you're forced to do something you're miserable in).

Our fight-or-flight mechanism is still stuck and we have to fight hard to get anger out. At times we feel like we'll black out. On the other hand, if we don't we just feel like a shell and the world is beating you down. Which means we hav no choice.

Just focus on tiny segments and having as many options as possible.

We're Still Sticking to It

Just for a second. Are you going to watch The Royal Wedding (at roughly 4 a.m. CST in the States)? Probably not. We'll also pass on the wedding cutlery set, t-shirts, coffee mugs and all the rest of it.

How are your symptoms these days? Dissociating and despair are still there. We're covering all the bases and trying to be in the strongest financial position we can. Just in case the new jobs aren't here, have an option to move to. Where is that? We're not sure.

But, we keep going and do our best to keep our balance. Have a good day.

Today is a Extremely High Triggering Day

The Dept. of Homeland Security (DHS) here in the States still has a color coded "terror alert" system. Nobody pays attention to it, but it's there. Here, we have our own Triggering Event Alert system. We don't list all the triggering stuff. But we mention that we think you should protect yourself at all costs.

The underlying theme from those that put this stuff out? We could care less what you think and we'll do it anyway. In that case, we say ok. We'll go elsewhere. This means re-organizing your sources that you use for information and other things. However, it is worth it to change where necessary.

One reason is that odds are nobody else will do this for you. It's hard enough to get someone to take you seriously as a trauma survivor. Why add to that stress by watching all of this triggering stuff? We deserve better.

We still fight flashbacks and dissociating. On rare occasions, hyperawareness is still there. We feel like we're going to snap in two and black out. But we have to fight back or we'll fall apart. Who wants to live like that?

Our suggestion? Don't look at anything today unless you have to. Yes, it's that bad.