It is Friday (going west from Sydney). We are a 24/7 blog. Which means think globally.
Thanks to our growing audience in almost all 50 states and 45 countries. Please share this everywhere you can. The corporate MSM won't touch us. Which means beat them at their own game.
Every morning we have to fight to focus and not dissociate. We haven't been on any meds for over two years now. Despite that, it's like you have to focus and almost scream to wake up (if that makes sense). Then as you have breakfast, you still have to focus to feel awake. Take a shower and lots of vigorous massage. I can't scientifically prove it. But in my case, not having literally any reassuring contact to try and deal with trauma leaves you feeling empty due to lack of contact. Massage in a sense at times seems to help restore some of that.
Then, fight to not dissociate all day long. We used to use lots of the wrong meds, which only made things worse. You look cool and calm on the outside. On the inside, you're this close to killing someone. Now, do that every day non-stop for years, and feel like you're never going to get help or any reassurance at all.
How would you cope with that?
Anger lashes out, and we feel like we're going to snap in two. It's like a non-stop MMA fight all day long. Then, you're so wiped out you literally can't move. Do you then give in and have lots of stuff with sugar which you know is bad for you? If not, what else do you do? I can't sit back and do nothing. That doesn't work.
You feel robbed at times and wonder will you black out? You scream and don't want to dissociate. You don't want to disappear and wonder if you'll ever come back. It's like facing a million choices every day. Not the normal daily ones, but constantly saying do I go this way and dissociate? Or, do I go the opposite way and see what happens? As much as possible, we're going the other way.
This also means throwing out lots of triggering material. It also means screening everything. If you don't, it can sometimes take us two weeks to get our sense of balance back. What are all of the underlying reasons for that? The only one we can think of is that it's because our symptoms have been that severe and untreated for that long.
Meanwhile, it's literally not safe to look at any news today. Nothing except sports scores and some business. Nothing else. American talk radio is out of the question. Frankly, almost all of it is sick. All that matters is ratings. If you don't like it, piss off and go somewhere else. Is anybody MAKING you listen? No. Then why are you bitching?
Which in a way is one reason why I started this blog. Now, thanks to quality content and word-of-mouth advertising, it's picking up. We never intentionally trigger anybody. However, there's also no point in recycling what some government agency or think tank puts out in their "official studies about trauma".
Part of this is facing it head on in the most non-threatening way possible. We have no desire to be a professional patient. Instead, we just want some sense of balance.