Thursday, July 19, 2012

Fighting to Not Dissociate(Contains graphic content. Read at your own risk)

Staying home tonight, and trying not to black out. Anger comes lashing out, and we feel like we're going to literally snap. You try not to black out. Then, you're so tired so literally can't move. Everybody says it has to come out, and it does. We're just trying to keep some sense of balance.

Flashbacks still happen. You're too terrified to move. Getting raped and horrible anal pain and pain all over. No else is listening, and no one will save you. It doesn't matter that it's a flashback or a lucid dream IN THE SENSE that the body memory is still there. If we don't fight back, we feel like we'll literally fall apart. Will anyone save us then?

I don't know about other's cases. If you haven't received the help or compensation that you deserve, I sorry for that. In my case, I've never received any "victim compensation". I've also only had  1 person actually hug me and say I'm sorry you were raped. What kind of effect does that have on someone? If you know, please let me know.

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