Hi to our new readers in Miami, North Carolina. Also in Durham, U.K. We don't know who you are. Then again, you don't know who we are. So it all balances out.
Fighting symptoms all day long. Lately the worst has been dissociating and lucid dreams. We check the room to make sure that there's no one or nothing bad here. Despite that, it still happens. Why? My multiples and little kid say there isn't one specific thing. But it's flooding out.
When we need to, we turn things off and go for a walk. Or, we just sit on the stairs and look out into the courtyard near our block. Yesterday it was raining. We just sat and listened to the rain and nothing else. No Blackberry. No voicemail. Nothing.
Friday we have an appointment with a potential new therapist. We'll see how it goes. There's still that underlying feeling of distrust. If you felt like nobody ever took you seriously, you'd have the same thing.
We set boundaries. Polite but firm. When we go to sleep at night, we still have a weapon in the room. We just feel better. We take one when we go out. Again, the same thing.
Just in our case, you have to fight back. We would never dream of dictating what to do to someone else. However, you have to do it. Now, do that AND everything else you have to do in the day. How do you get thru it?
We're still sticking to our no-news approach. If you ahead of time that something's bad, why put yourself in that situation? Even doing that, we still have to edit everything. Otherwise it means hours of fighting dissociating. While trying to look cool and calm on the outside.
Protection comes first. You don't owe anybody else a long, in-depth explanation of PTSD. Do what's necessary to keep your balance.
If you don't have to look at/read/watch something, don't. There are other things to do which will help you to feel better.