I'm finally starting to catch up on my sleep. Before this, hadn't slept for almost two days. I went to my first doctor's appointment, and in some ways it wasn't surprising. The doctor means well, but has no PTSD training whatsoever Why then am I here? Keep going with getting treatment. But from now on, go somewhere else.
Now, it's focus on holistic healing. Unintentionally, part of the problem in my case has ben poisoning my system with lots of junk food to escape pain which only made it worse. Now, it's time to detoxify overall. Can you do this and still have fun with actual enjoyable foods? Yes, you can. It's a challenge. However, it's not that expensive to do.
The pain of untreated trauma still hits really hard and is rough to deal with. You know it's not your fault. Yet, you feel like you're getting hit with a billion flashbacks all at once. You also have normal concerns:
Do I have to cure myself?
Does anybody want to admit that I exist?
Does a long time with no reassurance damage you psychologically?
Like anyone, you want reassurance and relief from pain. You can't make people understand about trauma. You can't make them admit that you exist. It would be human decency on their part. Then again, am I their psychiatrist? No, I'm not.
Protect yourself as you go along. Pay attention to the effects of things on you. Do you really need to do this? If not, what's a better alternative? The healthier you are, the sharper your intuition. My percentage isn't 100%. But it has gotten better.