I'm really trying to pay attention to the effects of things. Tiny amounts that mess up your p/h balance cause pain all over. If it's caffeine, more pain and at times hallucinations.
It feels like all the backed up trauma is flooding out. You try to keep your balance and to not just black out. Yet you also feel like you can barely move. It's not that you want to hurt either yourself or anyone else. You feel like there's almost no energy at all.
Every source that I trust says the same thing. It has to come out either in good ways, or bad ways. Now, it's catching up to you.
When the full reality of trauma hits you, how do you not scream and black out? The pressure feels really severe, and at times I don't know what to do.
Just try to keep some sense of balance.