Not much sleep last night. We had more nightmares. Also, the feeling of screaming to not get stuck in that loop of dissociating. And, no matter how hard you try there's a barrier there. You almost have to literally pass out before you feel like you have some sense of balance.
This morning, more of the same. Everything is triggering. But wer'e still sticking to finding the new job(s). Pay the bills and have a home base. Then go back into therapy. Here, very few therapists want to bother with sliding scale fees. So what do you do?
We've been using other sources for help when we need it. At the moment, everything is raw. Everything has to be screened. When you try and focus, it's literally draining at times to not black out. Meditation at least three times a day. We really don't want to go back on meds unless we have to.
Does it feel that painful at times for you as well to focus?