A little bit of clarity at the moment. A stuck fight-or-flight mechanism is still there. Which means you have to push and almost pass out to feel like you're getting it out. Now, multiply that times 50 every day. That gives you some idea of how exhausting it is right now.
But you have to keep going. Just sitting back and "going with your feelings" doesn't work. Because then it's even more terrifying. What are all the underlying reasons for that? We don't know.
For today, we take things in tiny steps. Lots of breaks when needed. We're also sticking to our boundaries. In addition, we're paying attention to the effects that things have on us. Not just doing them or the fact that they're there. But, why are you doing them? Do you really need to do this?
If others don't want to admit that you exist, go elsewhere. Set up our own network to speak out. Everyone else is doing it. So why shouldn't you as well?
Without giving away all of our secrets, a few tips for you.
For a small investment, you can set up a nice website or your own low-power radio station (either online or in your neighborhood). In the old days, we'd call these "pirate" stations. Now though, almost anyone can do this.
There's some cost. Also, there's always bureaucracy to fight thru. Yet, these are two ways to speak out.
Final tip: consistent quality content and promotion always works.