Pushing The Envelope (Reading this post might get you arrested)

Here, we really try to only talk about helpful holistic things. But the powers that be keep doing such stupid s**t that we have to deviate a little.

Therefore, let's try a new idea.

Welcome to our global readers. Especially our fans who apparently are in the intelligence community Inside the D.C. Beltway. Now, if some govt. agency is spending our tax money to monitor this site for "subversive terrorist content", we say, get a new job. Then, get a life.

The govt. says they're "officially" not doing it. But in reality that means that they are. Normally, the NSA, CIA and other agencies data mine. They sift through all communications looking for key words or phrases to justify starting a file on you.

Having said that, let's try a test and see what happens:

Under intl. law, these things should be done.

Bush II, Obama and everyone else involved in perpetuating wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan should be fired, arrested and tried for war crimes.

Everyone who gives Tony Blair any kind of support should also be arrested and tried as an accomplice for war crimes. Can the country live with Jon Stewart being a war criminal?

As you're reading this, one person will die from lack of health care. They won't be a "featured case" that the Administration will use to push their policies. They'll die, and most people will have no clue who they were.

Obama is just a packaged political brand to maintain the Democrats lock on power.

The top two parties only care about money and power. They'll literally do anything they have to stop any threat to that.

More people are renouncing their citizenship to protest dual taxation and paying for illegal and immoral wars.

If someone invades the U.S., people who fight back are considered "patriots". If Iraqis, Afghans or Pakistanis do the same, they're "terrorists"?

Under intl. law, U.S. troops in these places are all legitimate targets.

Would you risk your life for an illegal and immoral war?

Key people in Congress are making millions off of these wars. How come nobody's prosecuting them? Oh, right. That's capitalism at work.

In most states, if you publically criticize Israel, you can lose your job.

Is Obama making money off of the wars? He and his wife are multi-millionaires.

John Kerry and Diane Feinstein have made the most money in the Senate from defense industry investments. Will anybody impeach and then prosecute them for war crimes?

If I defraud someone, I'll go to jail. Hank Paulson defrauded the entire country and made a billion dollars out of it. Will he ever go to jail?

Tomorrow, Rahn Emmanuel will resign and run for mayor of Chicago. Will his replacement be any better? No. Second, isn't it a threat to "national security" when the Chief of Staff is a dual citizen who served in another country's war? And, who could legally be called to serve again in the future?

Obama.
Bush
war ciminal
massive fraud
U.S.
terrorist state
and more

Now, let's see if we get flagged.

Keep Moving

Almost time for more applications. Still sad at times. But you keep going forward.

How are your symptoms? What helps you to have some relief?

Welcome to our new readers in Malaysia and Vancouver, B.C. We don't know who you are. And even though the gov. would like to know (by monitoring this blog for "subversive content"), we won't tell them anything.

Your tax dollars at work.

Feeling Kind of Sad

A real mix today. Saved the car battery before it was totally run down. Then, went to meet my brother for lunch. Which was disappointing.

The last time we talked, we argued about money. We know that in this horrible economy, everybody's under stress. We never demanded anything from him or his wife. We politely asked if they could help us out to move and get settled in a new place. They agreed and we thanked them for it.

Then, this last conversation was frankly pretty condesending on his part. Essentially, stop wasting your time with these stupid ass dream jobs and get a f*****g job. He knows that we've been juggling lots of different things. We haven't exactly been kicking back and just making one phone call and then calling it a day.

But, in his view, he can do and say anything he damn well pleases because that's "communication". No, it's not. Being condesending is never helpful. Especially when it's a trauma survivor. However, he's made it clear that he could care less what we think. And that's first sad. And second, out of our hands. We're not responsible for what others say or do.

Which makes us think of several things. He doesn't know about my multiples and little kid. Frankly, after today what's the point of mentioning it? Also, why should we even bother talking about any of this to you? If it was your wife who got raped, would you just say sorry, honey. But get it together and go cook dinner? If you cared at all about her, hopefully not.

So why can you do this to others?

We feel kind of sad. But also, we feel good in the sense of being able to say, that's out of our hands. It's just another example of this stupid taboo that guy survivors have to deal with every day.

Now, we're taking things in tiny segments. Cover all the bases. Get the new jobs to pay the bills and go back to therapy. But also, always have as many options as possible.

Disability? Not sure about that? If it's a matter of having to borrow money from the parents, under no circumstances will this be tied to endless abuse like before. It's not worth it to say, go back ten steps and be treated like crap. Absolutely not. Again, another example of not having control over what others do and say. Nobody's forced them to always say this stuff. Nobody's forced them to never apologize. Screaming at each other all the time is't "real communication". But also, all normal caring human beings can only take so much. Emotions aren't like a light switch that you just turn on and off. It doesn't work like that.

How's your day?

Tiny Segments

Cleaning, job hunting and more stuff to do this weekend. Naturally, my personal assistant who should be doing this is nowhere to be seen. Then again, maybe it would help to really have one.

We're trying to stay off all meds and just use diet, exercise and more to heal. Anger and other symptoms lash out, and it's hard to focus. We'll find out more about potential diability next week.

Back to the cleaning.

A lot to Juggle

Lots of stuff to deal with right now.

One new angle. Possibly going on Social Security disability. We thought at first that maybe there's such a thing as "temporary disability". Here in the States, no.

If you have a disabiling condition which prevents you from working for at least 12 months, you can try for it. But then after that, if you do get it you're considered "permenantly disabled".

Do we go on something when we're capable of working? If you're on disability, you can work a limited schedule per week. It also means relocating to a smaller place and scaling down everything to the bare minimum.

We've lost jobs in the past because we fought to maintain some sense of balance while trying to get help which didn't happen. Also, we don't want to feel robbed because of being raped and having PTSD. We don't think that's an unreasonable request.

Your thoughts on this.

Balance is the Key

How's your day/evening/early morning? Being a global blog, we have to think in 24 time zones. Which means in the U.K., you're eating desert. In Moscow, you should be asleep by now. Meanwhile in New Delhi, it's almost time for the a.m. news. Then, in Singapore, it's another tieless day at the office.

No matter what your location is, one thing connects everybody. More stress overall.

Job, family, home, lack of said job and home, domestic violence. The list keeps going. Yet, in your part of the world, do you find that you can get the help you need? Or, is "mental illness" looked down on?

If we wanted to, we could get into yet another theoretical debate about mental health. Is PTSD a "psychiatric" illness or an emotional problem? We say it's an emotional problem that nobody wants to admit exists.

Think for a second. Why not?

It hits too close to home.
Just shut up and deal with it.
If you were stupid enough to get (fill in the blank), that's your problem.
And various other stuff.

Aside from here, we don't speak out in other venues. Because right now there are way too many double standards. People say they want trauma survivors to get help. But then the next minute they won't admit that they exist.

What are these people supposed to do? We won't rehash stats about high drug abuse, suicide and other rates.

Instead, we'll pose this question. Imagine if the worst happened and you became a trauma survivor. Some horrible thing happened to you and as a result you now have PTSD. It could be mild or very severe.

People tell you you need to get help. But don't ever talk about this stuff around me.

What are you supposed to do? You don't want to kill yourself or abuse yourself to death. Yet, nobody will admit you exist. Nobody's going to help you. Why? Because weakness isn't tolerated. Just shut up and get on with it. Nobody has time to listen to you.

Point #1. You didn't ask for this. Point #2. You don't enjoy all the pain and humiliation you go thru on a daily basis to try and heal. Despite these, you're expected to just go away and deal with it.

What are you supposed to do?

Anger and Balance

Fighting hard to keep our sense of balance. Part of it means staying away from former favorites (foods and more) that are now way too triggering. Which then means you come up with alternatives.

How do you cope when it feels like almost everything is a threat?

Monday Thoughts

Greetings to our new readers in Manila. Also, to our growing audience around Washington, D.C.

How's your Monday looking? Lots of ground to cover today. Part of it also is to stay away from all triggering stuff as much as possible. If in doubt about it, just ask, do I need to see this? If not, stay away from it.

It may mean going to an extra store or two. But hopefully it will make things easier. In our view, it's not worth it to then have to fight dissociating for hours to try and get your balance back. You have way better things to do with your day.

Just an idea.

How Far Would You Go?

Still the weekend. Which means we're making the most of it when you have to stay in.

Without triggering anyone, there's lots of talk these days about uniting and doing the right thing. As Naomi Klein says (will she pay us for this exclusive free plug? Probably not), "make a progressive movement exciting, sexy. And impossible to avoid".

In theory, sounds great. We could also extend that to trauma survivors. Imagine a new lobby in Washington specifically for trauma survivors. If you can have lobbyists for literally everthing else, why not this?

Unfortunately, you then run into problems.

Who funds it?
Who leads it?
Why should we follow this leader?
How do we make ourselves heard?
Also, how do you seperate egos from the overall cause? Is that impossible to do? Probably yes.

If your group doesn't have a "name" attached to it, how many people will pay attention? How many people will call or email back? There is no progressive network here. But also, nobody wants to be connected with it.

How far would you go to be heard (without putting your healing at risk)? If you couldn't get help in your current area, would you sell everything if necessary and go elsewhere to get help? No connections at all in a new place. Strictly to get the help that you know you need and can't get.

We almost did that. We moved to our current area because we couldn't afford to stay in the last city. We'll find something here (jobs, a new therapist and more).

Not to say we're perfect in our activism. However, if push comes to shove, how far would you go to do what you know is right? Would you risk jailtime? Would you renounce your citizenship?

If you want corporate MSM air time, the story has to be sexy. It has to have "legs". Otherwise, who cares?

They didn't want to pay attention. Now, we have our own network. In addition, thanks to your help we're now read in over 23 countries. We don't know who you are. But you are there.

The point here? Trauma has to come out. Therefore, do everything you can to get it out in the most non-threatening way you can.

Then see what happens.

#479

Just finished lunch. Time now for cleaning, emails and more. Where's our VA(virtual assistant)? Wait, we don't have one. Oh well.

How's your focus? We're still fighting to wake up and focus. Also, to not feel horrible physical body memories of being raped. We're taking things in small segments and then lots of breaks. But one key is that you have to fight back to regain your balance.

Please link us everywhere you can (as long it doesn't endanger your healing).

Coming soon: more cool links.

How's Your Focus?

Taking lots of breaks as we try to focus and do some latenight writing and more. We're upping our meditation now to two times a day. The symptoms are still there. The despair is still there. At times we just sit down and rock back and forth to try and have some sense of balance.

How do you cope with despair? Do you have blackouts? Do you still have physical pain from being raped? We still have to fight this all day long.

Any suggestions on how to cope with this?

Working Late Tonight

Staying in and catching up on applications, query mail and more.

It's been a long day fighting symptoms. In the mall, several times we sat down and tried to focus. Went into the bathroom to scream and fight to focus. Then, more of the same.

We're taking lots of breaks as we go along. But also, we're protecting ourselves as much as possible. Everything has to be edited.

How's your balance?

Our Twitter channel: www.twitter.com/survivingtrauma

Maybe It Really is Friday

A little bit of clarity at the moment. A stuck fight-or-flight mechanism is still there. Which means you have to push and almost pass out to feel like you're getting it out. Now, multiply that times 50 every day. That gives you some idea of how exhausting it is right now.

But you have to keep going. Just sitting back and "going with your feelings" doesn't work. Because then it's even more terrifying. What are all the underlying reasons for that? We don't know.

For today, we take things in tiny steps. Lots of breaks when needed. We're also sticking to our boundaries. In addition, we're paying attention to the effects that things have on us. Not just doing them or the fact that they're there. But, why are you doing them? Do you really need to do this?

If others don't want to admit that you exist, go elsewhere. Set up our own network to speak out. Everyone else is doing it. So why shouldn't you as well?

Without giving away all of our secrets, a few tips for you.

For a small investment, you can set up a nice website or your own low-power radio station (either online or in your neighborhood). In the old days, we'd call these "pirate" stations. Now though, almost anyone can do this.

There's some cost. Also, there's always bureaucracy to fight thru. Yet, these are two ways to speak out.

Final tip: consistent quality content and promotion always works.

Time to Go Out

Hi to our new readers in Florida and Colorado. Thanks and keep linking us everywhere you can.

Time to go out for shopping and checking out some new job leads. Normally this sounds perfectly harmless. But in our case we have to think about all of the angles:

What happens if symptoms get really bad?
Where do we go?
What if there's no place to hide?
What if hyperawareness is really bad?

We still take a weapon with us when we go. A handgun's out of the question. For now, it's usually a knife carefully hidden in our bag. Just from previous experience, you have to protect yourself. Even if a lot of what happens is lucid dreams.

How do you cope with lucid dreams? Lately they happen at intersections or in a crowded place. Everything is magnified. Every sight, sound color and noise. The person on the other side of the aisle. Are they a threat? How do we stop them? What's our weapon? We still plan out moves all the time because you have to.

Lucid dream or not, nobody's ever going to rape us again. The rest of the world says "sexual assault". But we say call it what it is.

How's Your Balance?

Another rough start of having to fight to focus and wake up. We're still having nightmares as well. Far too graphic to spell out here. Overall, it's still exhausting to fight all of this stuff.

On the other hand, you have to keep going. Despite this and feeling like almost everyone else could care less about you, try to set that aside. You don't want to admit that we exist. Ok. We'll go elsewhere and set up our own network to speak out.

Do you have the feeling that you're the only one who sees the overall picture? We're not talking about end-of-the-world conspiracy rubbish. Just the feeling of you know everything that people will say and do. Then, you also know what all of the responses will be. Which then leads you to say, why am I watching this?

We'll mention it again. Stay away from it unless you have to look at it. But also, protect yourself at all times.

Have you ever spoken out about your trauma to anyone? In the past we have. Now though, aside from here we don't do it. Why? Because it's not worth it. Regardless of their situation, people can only take so much. After a certain point, we said, right. Nobody wants to hear us. Fine. We'll set up our own outlets to speak out.

Part of the ulgy truth is this. If we were outed, we could have serious problems in lots of areas. Who wants to hire someone with PTSD? We could literally be uninsurable for health care because of something that's not our fault.

If you're faced with obstacles like that, would you willingly out yourself?

Instead, we stick to here and protecting ourselves. But also, we're not responsible for these other people. They have to live with the consequences of their actions. Not us.

Peace and Quiet

No noise, no clips, nothing. We're just focusing our chi.

Shut everything off and just sit back. Focus on yor deep breathing and the flow of chi through your body. Don't worry so much about directing it. Just be aware of it all over.

A suggestion. Try to do this several times a day. Why? Your balance. Don't you deserve to take the breaks and be nice to your health?

There's your "traditional medical doctor". Then there's a holistic view.

We're not saying all traditional doctors are bad. What we are saying is this. Experts can fight over your case file all day long. But in the end you decide what you feel is best for you. Sounds obvious. But it's important to keep in mind.

We've had beter luck with holistic treatments than traditional. As for saving the country and giving everyone universal care, we can't do that. What we can do is keep priorities in mind.

Your balance comes first.
Boundaries are there to protect your overall health. Emphasis on overall.
99% of the time, if you say no the world won't end.
If you really want to help others, how can you do that when you run yourself into the ground? Being sick is not helping anyone.

Another suggestion. Lots of new studies show that a plant based diet can be very helpful for trauma survivors. Please fight the urge to do any what-the-hell-do-studies-tell-you-anyway jokes.

Instead, think about this. If you eat meat all the time, unless it's totally organic, it has lots of fat in it. Also, protein is being shown to have connections to a higher chance of some cancers. Why then load your body down with all of this junk?

If you wanna go veggie, try it. If not, cut meat down to one day a week. Then see how you feel.

Just some ideas.

Use Your Tools

Staying in tonight and just trying to focus. We did our meditation for the night. Online, it's just very safe stuff to listen to.

Adrenalin surges are still extreme at times. Cold showers and massage helps some. But we still have to focus hard. You meditate and get into a good groove. Then, try to maintain that all day.

Are you having violent symptoms? Any suggestions on other things to try?

Please link us everywhere you can (as long as it doesn't endanger your healing).
Our Twitter channel: www.twitter.com/survivingtrauma.

Screaming to Not Black Out

Almost blacked out this morning. Lots of severe dissociating and not knowing what's real and what's not. Then finally a break and now some sense of balance again.

Trust your intuition and stay away from all of the "in-depth global news analysis" from (fill in the blank). Because it's not.

Everything still feels really raw. Everything has to be edited (even at times what seems to be ok). Then again, you have to pay attention to important signs like that.

Back to the job hunting. Have a nice day.

Focus

Just got back and now time for some cleaning and other things at home.

The only thing online? Some tunes in short segments. We still can't just listen all day long. Exactly why, we're not sure.

This means ONLY some music, scores and job hunting stuff. Nothing else. It's too much of a threat. Some mental heath sources we trust say it's everything trying to come out at once. Which means protect yourself every way you can.

A couple of times we've almost blacked out. A few times we're screaming in pain and trying not to snap as you roll around on the floor.

But what else can you do but fight back.

A Rough Time Trying Not to Snap

Not much sleep last night. We had more nightmares. Also, the feeling of screaming to not get stuck in that loop of dissociating. And, no matter how hard you try there's a barrier there. You almost have to literally pass out before you feel like you have some sense of balance.

This morning, more of the same. Everything is triggering. But wer'e still sticking to finding the new job(s). Pay the bills and have a home base. Then go back into therapy. Here, very few therapists want to bother with sliding scale fees. So what do you do?

We've been using other sources for help when we need it. At the moment, everything is raw. Everything has to be screened. When you try and focus, it's literally draining at times to not black out. Meditation at least three times a day. We really don't want to go back on meds unless we have to.

Does it feel that painful at times for you as well to focus?

Talking Everywhere

Hello to our new readers in Manitoba. Los Altos, CA. All around Washington, D.C. Also in the U.K.

How's your weekend? Here, trying to just focus after a rough night last night. It was like we almost snapped in two due to anger, dissociating and lucid dreams. Today, it's just positive focus and chill.

Hope your day is good.

Screen Everything. Or, Hire a VA to do it for You

It may be Friday. But it's also a very triggering day.

Over the next few days, screen everything and only look if you have to. We've stopped going to some well-known stores right now (unless we have to go there). Why? Because we don't agree with some of the stuff that they're selling. Which means in our own niche, we refuse to be a part of their profit margin. If corporate won't listen, we'll go elsewhere.

There are other places to go, There are other things to do, read, see and listen to. You have to protect yourself. Trust your intuition.

How to Be Seen and Heard (No Connection to the Python Sketch)

As we all know, it's a rough period in many ways. Protecting your health, job and more in a totally uncertain situation.

This means you have to look at this and say, how do I act and feel like I'm doing the right thing and NOT hurting my balance?

The answer? Selective activism. There's just not enough time in the day to save everything and everyone. Also, it's not your job or ours to do that.

What comes first? Protection. Screening everything necessary to not have even more symptoms to fight. Only look at what you have to.

Here's another idea. If you have problems with adrenalin surges, look at your diet. In addition, give yourself a vigorous massage/towel rubdown a few times a day. We find that this does help for a while so you can do other stuff.

Meditation twice a day feels like the right way to go. You can do some basic reiki exercises anywhere to help focus your chi. And nobody will know.

Maybe we need to drink more water and eat more alkaline food. But we won't go vegggie. We tried it and it doesn't work.

Just one view.

Turn It All Off

Today, no news. No tunes. 1 job hunting related video clip. Nothing else.

Has the world come to an end? Not yet. Stay away from it all unless you have to look.
The symptoms are still there. On the other hand, really stick to watching how things effect you (and not just the fact that you do them).

These are just ideas that we hope help others in some way.

Our Twitter channel: www.twitter.com/survivingtrauma

How to Make Yourself Heard (Contains Potentially Triggering Stuff)

How's the day looking? Here, we're taking some new herbal supplements. So far, a little more stability at times.

It also seems like everywhere you look, triggering stuff is still going on. Which means a few ideas to consider:

Why not put Stimulus money into holistic health research and tax breaks to help develop new ideas? Can billions of Chinese be wrong about acupuncture?

How do you cope when it feels like everything in a store is a threat?

The banks won't extend credit to people here. But they'll do it for lots of new customers in Beijing and Shanghai?

We're not calling for idiotic stuff like protectionism and more. Instead, find reliable information and protect yourself. If you have no personal assistant, it does take time.

Then again, in this global economy (and it will never go away), act in a positive way. Sure, at first it may feel like NOBODY knows and seems to care. On the other hand, the old rule of quality content and promotion still apply.

Especially now, people want a helpful service that doesn't have a negative connotation to it. Which also means that many will pay for it.

Beyond that, you're on your own.

Why Not Ousource?

Here's an idea. Need some help screening all the information you get hit with every day?

If you can afford a minimum of $5 an hour, why not get a Virtual Assistant (VA)? They don't have to know about your trauma and healing. Just say I have too much stuff to deal with. Can you help me?

The impression we get is that there are a lot of reputable sites that can cover a lot of jobs. If you use one in your work, the boss might not like that. But for personal things, imagine if someone screened everything. Then, they send you a summary of only the stuff that you NEED to deal with.

How much easier would your life be?

Are we salespeople for some site? No we're not. We're only suggesting an idea.

Why should you do this? Because like it or not, globalization is here to stay. Which means instead of being angry, cynical and burned out all the time, why not put your energy to good use?

You don't have to update your online content. Only see the email that you need to see. Which gives you more time and helps your balance overall.

It's just a suggestion.

When in Doubt, Think Globally

A special welcome to our new readers near London and in Warsaw. Thanks for spreading us everywhere it might help without endangering your healing.

We did our meditation for tonight. Soon we'll do our tai chi as well. We're trying for 2 times a day.

It feels like symptoms still lash out. There's no one reason why. Despite that, it's hard to literally not black out. In crowded places, we still take our Blackberry or Ipod and just plug in the headphones. It's too much stimulus.

If you need to, do you turn everything off and just sit by a window? Go outside for a walk. We sit out on a stoop and can look out over a park in our area.

Decide for yourself. Is it necesarry to do this? You could expand that into all kinds of areas. But with trauma, just stay away from it. Think of it this way. You'll save money. You'll have more time for other stuff that's way more fun. You'll just feel better.

How is trauma and mental health viewed in your part of the world? Do people believe in a body/mind connection? Or, are mental health problems seen as a weakness?

Keep your options open and protect yourself at all costs.

Use All of Your Tools

Happy Labor Day. If you're looking for a job, you'll find something. If you don't have a holiday, just contact your local govt. and tell them we said to. It could work.

How are your symptoms these days? We still have to fight to wake up and focus. For us, it's a mix of nutrition, exercise and chill out time. Meditation and tai chi do help (although sometimes it's hard to focus).

Other than these, what else can you use?

Avoid the trap of "nobody wants to admit we exist". That's true in many cases. Then again, can you singlehandedly change this overnight? No.

The better option? Your protection and healing come first. Focus on that and set this other stuff aside (as frustrating as it can be).

Avoid ALL triggering stuff as much as possible. Don't give into the urge to see something when you know it won't help in any way. If your boss says to do it, that's one thing. But if you have a choice, stay away. It's not worth the endless hours of dissociating and fighting to get your balance back.

If you need to find a therapist, we suggest a combination of cognitive and EMDR treatment. Then again, the final choice is between you and your therapist.

Maybe the final point is this. There is a mind/body connection. You have to get trauma out. As scary as it is, it will come out in bad ways if not good ones. Just in our case, we feel good that pride (for lack of a better word) isn't getting in the way of finding help.

Our Twitter channel: www.twitter.com/survivingtrauma

Pleaselink us everywhere you see a need, and if it doesn't threaten you in any way.

The Holiday Weekend for Some

How are things in your time zone? Sunny and a good day for the pool. Then the ultra high tech massage chair. It does almost everything except make lunch for you. But that's just around the corner.

Keeping your balance these days? Here, it's set aside all the violent stuff. Just stay focused and keep going. Also, screen everything.

The other step is protection. If you post anything cover your tracks as best you can. Nothing is 100% effective. But if you think like a hacker and block steps that people could try, that will greatly increase your odds.

Have a nice day.

Dinner Thoughts (No, not who's going to pick up the check?)

Just finished a nice barbacue dinner. Now, time for a few thoughts.

First, hello to our new readers in Ottawa, Canada. I know at times it looks really bad here. But keep in mind there are some of us who know that Tommy Douglas was (a) Donald Sutherland's ex father-in-law. Also (b) the guy who invented universal health care in Canada.

Having said that, when trying to keep your balance, look at the different things that fit together:

Avoiding all triggering stuff as much as possible. Do you REALLY have to look at that? If not, it's not worth it.

Cutting into someone's profit margin is a protest that will get their attention.

Think of the other stuff you can do with more time not wasted on the triggering stuff.

Boundaries are there to help you be able to say no when necessary. Also, to help you get anger out in hopefully a good and not bad way. Because it will come out.

If you deal with anger, can you then literally think your way to a good balance? Yes, that's a big part of it.

We're meditating twice a day now. 30 minutes at a stretch (unless we feel the need to go further). It does help you to feel more focused.

How come the millions of progressives who say we need to change things now won't act? Because you have no control over them, that's why. Everybody lives with the consequences of their actions (or inaction).

Lots of anger and dspair at times. But you have to keep going.

Closer to Home (Contains Potentially Triggering Content)

It's a holiday weekend here. A few other countries have one as well. But if you don't, make the best of it.

We try to stay away from all triggering stuff as much as possible. Yet, here's something that needs to be mentioned.

In our area, we've had some break-ins and two murders up the road. Last night, there was a break-in and shooting here. We're just really staying focused and taking responsible steps to protect ourselves.

How's life in your part of the world? Are you seeing more trauma aorund you due to the global depression (call it what it is)? It seems like despite this happening, nobody wants to talk about that.

It's not just vets who deal with PTSD. 10% of the Stateside population has it. Why not talk about it?

Because maybe part of it is the old pull-youself-up-by-your-(fill in the blank) and get on with it. Nobody wants to hear about it. Then, nobody can be bothered to work together and actually change stuff. That's been analyzed to death. So no point in rehashing it.

We're not going to give free plugs to the nutcase the-world-gonna-end-tomorrow-so-buy-an-AK47-now fringe. Yet, how do you keep it all in balance?

Nobody else wants to talk about it? Then we will.

Fighting to Not Black Out

We're focusing really hard to keep our balance. Emptiness is really crippling at times. You try to stay focused and keep busy. But everything feels like it takes hours to do.

Take it in tiny segments.

Keep Your Focus

Had to scream and fight to wake up and not snap. Finally after breakfast and a shower we feel like we can keep going.

We still have all the symptoms and have to screen everything. If you go into a store, everything has to be screened. Do we really need to go in there? Remember, cutting into someone's profit margin is one of the best ways to protest.

There's always another option.

We Need Peace and Quiet(Contains Graphic Content)

Everything's turned off right now. It's literally not safe to watch, read or listen to practically anything. It's like everywhere you turn you're about five steps ahead of everyone else. You're thinking, you're just NOW seeing this?

Lots of breaks right now. We'll go sit outside and just listen to the wind in the trees. The rain falling down. Then a break. Then more rain falling down. But it has nothing to do with global warming.

Some say they're frustrated that millions don't unite and change a lot of stuff. Our suggestion: you have no control over what others do and say. There are laws in place to govern certain things. If you're a boss, that's power to a certain extent. But aside from those, as much as it pisses you off, you can't force people to act.

This means that even thought they know it's the right thing to act, their apathy means they live with the consequences.

Just set that aside and concentrate on your own healing. You can only deal with so much.

Yet Another Very Triggering Day

Going along very carefully right now. No news at all. Tunes are ok for short stretches. But everything has to be screened.

When we go out, we always have a backup plan just in case. If we have to we take a weapon with us. Odds are we won't have to use it. But you can't take that chance.

Do what you think is best. However, our suggestion is still protect yourself at all costs.

Is It Safe to Come Out Yet?

We're still sticking with our no-news-unless-you-have-to-look approach. Also, we still have to fight to focus in the morning.

Lots of despair at times. It's like you know you have things to do. But the smallest things take hours to finish.

Don't fall into the trap of you have to take on everyone else's suffering. It's hard enough to deal with your own symptoms.

Stick to your balance and let Obama deal with this other stuff.