How's your Friday? Here, another 90F day and the pool is finally reopened. But no poolside bar. These things take time.
Fighting symptoms and trying to maintain our balance. Part of the process? Paying attention to the right to have and say your opinion. It seems common to trauma survivors to constantly have others trying to shut them down. Verbal, physical, emotional abuse and then finally rape. Nobody pays attention and you're not sure what to do.
The truth is you do have a right to your opinion and not to be treated like dirt. We're standing our ground as far as that goes. Some in the "family" say they're concerned. But if the worst were to happen and some of them offered to help us out, under no circumstances would we say yes unless there was absolutely no abuse whatsoever. Because normal human beings can only take so much. In our case, we're sick of being treated like dirt. Which mean we'll nevr put ourselves in that position ever again. Others are responsible for what they do and say. Nobody forced them to be abusive for a long time and then to never apologize for it. That's not "communication". But some apparently would rather literally go to their grave before they admit that they were wrong.
We're not responsble for that.
Now, we're still applying for jobs and living on almost nothing at all. But, we're planning ahead just in case the worst happens. Then, we sell everything, pay off our lease and leave.
Where would we go then? At that point, it's just a packed car and that's it. We're not sure. But we'll never put ourselves in an abusive situtation ever again. Life's too short to waste it.
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