Quite a mix today. Sunny weather, dissociating, fighting to not black out. Trying to stay off sugar so it won't make things worse. Also, struggling to deal with how severe trauma has been.
Does it feel to you at times like there's always something that you haven't dealt with? One minute, you feel like there's some focus. The next, you're this close to offing yourself. You won't. But that despair is there. You have to fight really hard to not give in.
You scream and try to have literally one minute with no dissociating. Yet, in my case it feels like the pain never ends. What do you have to do?
We still have problems with a stuck fight-or-flight mechanism. It's like you scream to get anger out, and almost pass out. Then, it starts all over again. You can't just sit back and do nothing. What then do you do?
I'm not sure.