Staying in tonight and trying to focus while emptiness is still there. We have to multitask, but we're trying to screen stuff as we go along.
We still have to fight dissociating. In the past, at times we used sexual substitutes for actual relationships. And to be honest, to escape really horrible pain that we're still dealing with. Nobody would laugh at you or treat you like crap. They'd do whatever you wanted, with no questions asked. Eventually, you reach a point where you say, no more of this. I like real relationships with real women. Not images on a screen.
This meant getting rid of a lot of triggering stuff that I should have trashed a long time ago. Like lots of other people in this economy, who doesn't need extra money? If you can make money out of it, back it up. If not, just trash it.
Another part of the despair is feeling at times like you can save the world from all the evil neocons, pedophiles and others. It's a nice idea, but you can't. Instead, protect yourself, be aware, care, and then take a small area to work on. Then, as various activists (Harry Belafonte, Paul McCartney and others) say, go out and kick butt. Doing something always beats doing nothing.
For all our US readers. Whatever you do in November, make your decision based on facts. Not what you think is a "fact". Or, what someone else expects you to obediently follow.
Just one opinion.