Symptoms are a non-stop battle. You can't dissociate. You fight really hard to keep a sense of balance. But it's always there. Heart disease is also there too.
You get bombarded with sick and twisted thoughts. Even though that happens, you hold onto that you're not crazy. You're not psycotic. What feels like psycotic symptoms is part of ultra severe trauma.
You're not crazy. You're not insane. You're trying to deal with severe symptoms as best you can.