More doctor appointments, and more fighting symptoms. For the past two days, it's been fighting hard to not dissociate. In the past, violent unchecked dissociating was a way to escape. You would disappear and not care about anything. Now, I don't want to fall apart. Do something else.
It's like non stop combat. You can't sit back and do nothing. Do your best to set boundaries and to protect yourself. You have to do something. You have to protect yourself.
At times you see others who struggle as well. Sometimes they're trying to escape an abusive partner. I don't want to turn into some abusive horrible monster because of my trauma history.
Have a good day.