Sunday, March 1, 2015

As Much as Possible, Don't Dissociate

No luck yet in finding a doctor to talk about burnout. Instead, you have days where there's almost no noise. You don't want to be bombarded with endless pain. Besides, a lot of content is rolling news. Which means why bother reruning everything.

Nightmares still happen. You have to fight your way out of a horrible situation, and nobody will help you. There's anger, frustration come nobody feeling abandoned. How come nobody helped us? Thoughts of death come to mind at times. But it's not like we'll just off ourselves. Kind of a final fuck you to everyone who treated us like shit.

All content has to be screened. Many days we have the TV on with the sound turned down. Then, live stream something thru the I-phone. That way, you have something to fill the silence. Otherwise at times, your system starts bombarding you with flashbacks to have something to focus on.

You have no control over what other horrible people say and do. But you can set boundaries where needed.  Because nobody else will protect you.

As horrible as it gets at times, we try to face our trauma history in the safest way we can. What else can you do?

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