While the laptop at home recharges, we're working online on someone else's desktop. If all else fails, work off the I-phone. Overkill? You be the judge.
We're really trying to pay attention to how things affect you. Don't assume that everything is second nature, and that's okay. Instead, ask do I really need to do this? Does this make me feel good, or run down?
We didn't do that for a long time. A lot was a vicious cycle to escape pain. Maybe that's one of the hardest parts of our healing. For a long time, lots of destructive dissociating stuff was normal. Now, don't do it.
Does this mean that one or maybe more of my multiples are lashing out because of this change? We're not sure. However, the pain is there. Also, seeing lots of hypocracy everywhere we look.
Are we the only ones who see this? No. At times though, it feels like it.
We just want a sense of balance. No death wish. No desire to hurt either ourselves or anyone else.
What do we do now?