NOTE: This blog contains explicit content and "triggers" (sights, sounds, key words/phrases and more). These could be potentially upsetting to trauma survivors. If these bother you, stop reading. If not, keep going and I hope this helps you in some way.
Lots of sadness and fear tonight. My multiples and little kid feel like everything is beating them down. I try to tell them, I don't know why everybody treats us like s**t. How could people be that sick? I don't know. You feel paralyzed and think, what do we do now? Dissociating and adrenalin surges still happen as well. You feel like you're going to snap and don't know what to do. But it seems like the whole world says, shut the f**k up and YOU fix it! Don't waste my time with your s**t.
How do you keep going when you feel paralyzed? We feel sad, we cry. And we fight when the nightmares and lucid dreams happen. If we have to, we take a knife or any weapon we have and check everywhere to make sure its safe. Then we sit with it nearby, just in case we need it. If anybody ever tries to rape us again, we'll f*****g kill them. We'll cut them into a million little pieces and then throw them out the front door.
You laugh at us. You treat us like s**t. But f**k you if you think you'll EVER f*****g rape us again.