NOTE: This blog contains explicit content and occasional "triggers" (sights, sounds, key words and more) that could be disturbing to trauma survivors. If these bother you, stop reading now. Otherwise, keep reading and thanks for the support.
Went to therapy today and it was more of the same. I still feel like my whole body is going to snap or just short out. Dissociating and other symptoms are stil happening. And underneath that is the fear of being this close to just dying. And then everybody who gave you s**t saying, see? I told you he's was a pathetic f**kup who couldn't do anything. And they won't have any comprehension of what they're doing.
My multiples and little kid still ask, how come people do this? I don't know. Will everybody treat us like s**t and then you can never trust anybody? I wish I knew the answer to that. But I just don't know. How could ANYBODY be that sick towards somebody else? You literally feel like every person you've had contact with doesn't give a s**t about anything but themselves. So where do you go? Can you talk to anyone and not always be suspicious? Sometimes you just fall down on the floor and cry. The rest of the world seems happy and goes on their way. And you have to stay home because the world can't be bothered with having to deal with your s**t. You were stupid enough to get raped. So f**k off and fix it.
How do you respond to that?