Just enjoying some peace and quiet as I write and get ready for another full week. The next therapy appt. is coming, and that means lots of questions about the three serial pedophiles. It also means that nightmares are happening again. I'm lucky right now if I get maybe two hours of sleep at night.
Many mental health sources that I trust say the same thing. This is backed up trauma coming out. We still have to focus really hard to not give in, dissociate and then literally vanish. Every day, it's almost non-stop.
Despite that, we know that we're not psychologically damaged in any way from being raped. The long history of abuse is still rough to deal with. You almost have to fight to not give into abusive garbage and then black out from exhaustion. Yes, it's still that severe at times.
I'm also concerned about my health from long term stress. Lots of past illnesses I think are connected to this. Now, my long history of abuse (and drugs, junk food and more) are catching up to me.
More coming soon.