Staying in tonight with my tea and then onto mediation and Tai Chi. A lot of triggering stuff continues to come from all directions. You have to set boundaries and protect yourself.
Despair, abandonment and dissociating still happen as well. I (along with my little kid and multiple personalities) continue to struggle with lots of stuff. Can we trust anybody? Is everybody out to kill us? Will those scary people over there try to break in, rape us and then kill us? I try to reassure them that no, it'll be okay. You still at times have to fight your way out of a lucid dream. You stab and kill them before they kill you.
Now, deal with that all day long, work and everything else you have to do.
Do you feel like you can trust anyone, or not? I still don't feel safe around many people that I know. Did one of them rape me as well, and I just haven't faced that yet? I don't know.
I do know that none of this is abnormal in any way.