Into the holiday weekend. And everything still has to be censored. Do you have the feeling that all of the terror of being raped suddenly hits you all at once? It feels like everything's going to turn black. You have nowhere to escape to and you have ten seconds to live. How do you cope with that (especially when you're in a crowded place)?
At times flashbacks are dissociating feel like you're going to snap. But you also know that you have to get it out (in a hopefully safe manner). How do you cope with feeling empty? You know that you're here. But you feel like there's literally nothing else. If that happens to us we have to literally shock ourselves back into some sense of balance.
Have a safe weekend.