Finally a little more energy today. I still have symptoms to deal with. But as much as possible I don't give into destructive dissociating. It only makes pain worse, not better. As for screening everything, that always has to happen to protect yourself. You see patterns and say why am I doing this? This is only making things worse. Do something else.
You still have to scream to try and get anger out without blacking out. You come home totally wiped out. But there's a sense of relief as well. As for other violently triggering stuff? It's not my job to monitor all of this crap 24/7. It's not.