Staying home at the moment and trying to regain some sense of being grounded. We still have to fight to focus when we wake up so we don't end up dissociating all day long. You feel like you're being bombarded with pain. Everything's a threat. You can't just sit back and do nothing.
You go outside and feel the sun shining. Then, for a split second you have a vision of what if you weren't around? Would you still feel any warmth at all? Why does this happen? We don't know.
Rock back and forth. Turn off all threatening stuff. Try to reassure yourself that you're safe. Nobody else is here. Nobody will break in and kill you.
You have to protect yourself
You're not a threat to anybody
It's not your fault
You're not insane
No noise. Try to reassure yourself, your multiples and little kid that it's okay.
Maybe we'll go out later. Right now, we want to feel safe in our own home.