Another long day of fighting symptoms.. No matter what, don't dissociate. You have to fight back. You can't just sit back and do nothing. If you don't, you're bombarded with pain. Anal pain, testicle pain, hip pain. Every single part of your hurts.
But what else can you do?
You scream and try to not black out. You have to fight back. At times you have lucid dreams, and you strike first. You strike first and kill the psycho pedophile. You have to stop them. Nobody else will. It feels like the rest of the world talks a lot about how survivors deserve to be heard. Yet, you ask, is anybody listening?
Do you feel like you're getting bombarded with hypocracy? Can you trust anyone? The healthier you are, the sharper your intuition. I'm not always right. But I try.
You have to protect yourself.