Ever have the feeling of being on the edge of something and not wanting to fall into it? That's how trying not to violently dissociate feels. You can't let up for a second, because if you do you'll fall apart.
There's also lots of body pain. Is it because of some other problem? Severe burnout and protecting yourself as much as possible. Every source that I trust all say the same thing. Your trauma is catching up with you.
What do you do when you literally have no energy to do anything? When that happens I just lie down for a while and turn everything off.
I also have to protect myself and be careful with who I talk to. It seems that some people that I thought I could trust just can't be trusted at all.
Then again, what else can you do but keep going?