A lot of focus today. Try to keep a balance and to not black out from dissociating. Also, set lots of boundaries and screen everything. It feels at times like you're fighting on the edge of feeling like you have no control at all. You can't stop for a second, or else you'll fall apart.
Try to have 30 seconds with no symptoms. No flashbacks, hallucinations, body pain or lucid dreams. It's backed up trauma that continues to flood out. Having said that, like any normal person you'd like a day where you're not totally worn out.
Maybe right now I don't have that luxury?