Wednesday, June 19, 2013

What Do You Do?

Trying to focus on some peace and quiet tonight. Our suggestion? Stay away from the news right now. Lots of sick, triggering stuff. Do I really want to deal with that and then dissociate for a week? No.

Talking about symptoms, lately dissociating and adrenalin surges have been the worse. You have periods where you feel like you're barely in control over your own body. You fight really hard to not just fall apart literally. I try to keep my system as clean as I can. Yet, you're still getting assaulted by pain.

Are my symptoms THAT severe and still undealt with?

You don't want to snap fall apart, attack anyone or just roll over and die. Also, you do wonder at times if you'll ever get any reassuring contact from anyone. I know there's no "official study" that's a one-answer-fits-all-cases solution. Having said that, being a normal human being you have concerns about your overall well being.

I didn't ask for any of this. Yet at times I feel like I'm literally starved almost for life from having any reassuring contact.

How does that affect someone? Is this all part of detoxifying from trauma?

Body pain still happens as well. What else also happens? It's literally too painful to look at lots of periods in my life. Once you think you've found a tiny moment of happiness, instantly a billion horrible things come back as well.

What do you do then? Right now, I'm not sure.

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