What's one of the hardest symptoms to deal with right now? Dissociating. Trying not to give into the urge to dissociate which feels like a drug in a way and then just disappear. It makes your pleasure centers in your brain feel great and then you don't know where you are.
The severity of symptoms is also a big struggle. One minute it feels like there are small moments of clarity. Then, everyone and everywhere is a threat. As much as possible, don't dissociate. You don't want to attack anyone. Which means when you go out, always have a plan to protect yourself and others.
Intuition is also sharp as well. You feel at times like you're 4 steps ahead of the rest of the world. Am I really the only one who knows everything that's happening? Hang on a minute. It's not my job to save the world. My health comes first.
I have to focus really hard to not dissociate. It feels like you're trying to not slip across a line into not knowing where you are.
I did nothing wrong. I'm telling the truth about being a rape survivor. If others don't want to admit that I exist or say and do horrible stuff, I have no control over that. However, I will protect myself.
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