I'm not encouraging violence in any way. I'm asking a necessary question to try and cope as I go thru my healing from being raped.
Not that you'd ever actually do it. But do you ever have a split second fantasy about getting revenge from your rapist for what they did to you?
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Yes. I'm fairly secure in the knowledge that fantasising about it doesn't mean I'll do it, either. If I were fantasising more and more for longer and longer and in more and more detail I'd be a little concerned, but even then I wouldn't panic. After all, it's understandable, normal, natural, any of those words. I feel that accepting such fantasies helps me understand myself and my own capacity for violence, also my feelings about justice, better. I'm actually really squeamish about violence towards innocent people or people I presume to be innocent, to the point where even with fictional films I often look away if something violent is happening. With people I know to be guilty (usually because they've done something to me) my capacity to perpetrate violence is really quite profound. I find that difference interesting. Fantasising often happens when I've had a surge of anger for some reason; the physiological change is father of the thought in my case.
NB: I know not all revenge fantasies are violent, but mine are!
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