Staying in for a while and just concentrating on writing. Not much sleep now for the past week. It's more nightmares, and then you can't go back to sleep around 3 a.m. You eat some breakfast and try to just focus your energy until you feel like you can finally get up. Do we give in and have tons of sugar and caffeine? We're really trying hard to not to.
Dissociating is still exhausting to deal with. You know you're on the right track, and you don't want to fall apart. Then, at the end of the day you feel like you can barely move. My now former counselor had a good point. Unfortunately, severe pain can't be avoided in this case. You didn't face it for a long time, and that's nobody's fault. Now though, it either comes out in a good way, or a bad way.
Pay attention to the effects of things on you. Do you really need all of the sugar and caffeine? Instead, try something else. That doesn't mean never have fun. Just pay attention to how stuff affects you.
Sadness and a feeling of abandonment are still there. However, I did nothing wrong.