Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Really Sore but Still Here

Staying up for a while to catch up online. Some soothing tea with lemon, and no noise for a while.

We're exhausted from fighting to not black out. Scream and fight to not dissociate and fall apart, IN ADDITION to everything else you have to do. Try to focus and not literally fall apart. Hopefully soon we can go and get tested for various potential allergies. At times it feels like we can't eat anything. Is there anything that we CAN eat with no problems?

A stuck fight-or-flight mechanism is really rough to deal with. Imagine feeling like you have to scream all the time to get anger out, or you'll snap. You have no choice. Of course you also have to deal with the rest of your day as well. How do you handle the two without attacking anyone? In the past two days we've been really trying to keep some sense of focus. It's tough though when you feel like you can barely move. Despair at times is almost paralyzing. You don't want to do anything to hurt yourself or anyone else. However, it's still there.

What else can we do?

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