Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Finally Some Relief?

This blog contains explicit content including "triggers." These can be anything from sights and sounds to key phrases that might be harmful to trauma survivors. If you can handle these, keep going. If not, stop now. And maybe try again later when you're feeling better. Thanks for checking this out. And please pass this onto anybody you think it might help.

Sorry to be offline for a while. This past week has been non-stop symptoms. I feel like I'm getting hammered into the ground every single day. The rest of the world seems to be happy. And I'm hiding in the corner screaming and trying not to snap.

Triggers are everywhere. I rarely watch U.S. these days because it's like, what's the point? Also, it's hard to keep my anger in check. One reason is because of how guy rape survivors are treated.

It seems like there's a three-tier system. At the top are vets and former vets with PTSD from combat, being exposed to uranium, being raped, etc. Then, you have women trauma survivors (many times rape). And then at the very bottom are guys who were raped.

When was the last time you saw a guy rape survivor talk in public that wasn't abused by a Catholic priest? It's like there's some unwritten rule. If it's ratings sweeps week, THEN we get the guy who was abused by the priest. We NEVER EVER talk to a guy rape survivor that was raped by somebody else (father, uncle, whatever). Why the double standard? It freaks people out. If a women gets raped then that's "normal" (for lack of a better word). If a guy gets raped, it's too weird. Guys never get raped. So instantly there's something wrong with you. Or, you being a guy remind the woman of the asshole that raped her. Even though she says, please share your story and you do she cuts you off. Which makes you think, then why did you say share your story? I've been cut off and censored many times. And it's like being raped all over again.

I ask my therapist about this. He says, it's f****d up. But that's the system right now. This means the vets and the women rape survivors get the attention. They appear on the talk shows, write the books, work the lecture circuit and all the rest of it. Meanwhile, the number of guy rape survivors continues to grow. But nobody wants anything to do with you.

How are we supposed to get better? If we literally have nowhere to go or talk, what are WE supposed to do?

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