Monday, March 17, 2008

Trying to Fight Thru Dissociating

NOTE: This blog contains explicit content and occasional "triggers". Some examples:
Key words or phrases
a noise
and others

The purpose here is to use them where necessary to get the points across. If these bother you, stop now. If not, keep going and please pass this onto anybody it might help.

Today's another long day battling dissociating. I'm staying away from all triggers that would lead to this as much as possible. But still it happens. Lately it's old sights and sounds that come out of nowhere. My therapist says it happened for so long that now it's like automatic. I do lots of holistic things and it still happens. At times I scream and I think I'm going to pass out. The usual ways to ground yourself don't work. You stop and exercise for a while and that doesn't help. So what do you do then?

I still have meetings with my multiples and little kid. The terror of falling off the cliff is still there. Will it ever stop? I don't know. They keep asking, how come this happened? How come nobody cares? There are only so many ways you can say, I don't know.

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