It's a daily struggle. Heart disease and PTSD symptoms. But also, at times you have horrible days with anger and thoughts about raping terrified little kids.
Just so it's clear:
I'm not a sociopath
I'm not psychotic
I'm not a pedophile
I'm not gay or bi-sexual
I'm not in to necrophilia, bestiality, or anything else like these
Having said all of that, why then do I still have these thoughts? When I do, I feel really terrified and sad. I walk out of the room, and try to reground myself. If that doesn't work, I just walk away. You have to do the responsible thing.