Getting Ht Hard

Note: This blog contains explicit content and occasional use of "triggers" where necessary to get points across. What are some examples?:

various sights and sounds
key phrases
colors
loud noises
formerly favorite foods
and more

If these bother you, stop reading now. Otherwise, keep going and thanks for the support.

Another day of getting hammered. Went out for a while and I thought I was going to snap in a store. I had to stay to get everything done and had to fight really hard to not explode. I went back home and screamed for about an hour to finally get some balance again. I do all the positive holistic things I can. And I still get this every day. But I have no choice. If I don't, I'll disappear.

I still feel like falling down and crying sometimes. Because sometimes you just don't know what to do.