Sorry to be off yesterday. Had a dentist appointment to pull an infected tooth. Lots of medication and then just go home and rest. Today, the swelling has gone down a lot. But, finish off all the prescribed pain meds in the meantime.
Fight to protect yourself. Set boundaries. Do you really need to look at.listen to/watch what you know is triggering? No you don't. Instead, do something else.
It's not your fault. But despair and abandonment are always there.