Another struggle to not black out from dissociating. Had a slip up and had to fight REALLY HARD to get back to reality. You don't want to be stuck in an endless trap with no way to escape. You have to fight back.
You also struggle with how severe symptoms have been and continue to be. You're not weird, a danger to anybody else, or going to fall apart. But you do have to constantly fight to keep some sense of being grounded. It's still a struggle to know what's real and what isn't.