Monday, September 19, 2016

Bombarded with Pain

Nightmares are back. You fight to survive and then open your eyes. You try to focus and have some idea of where you are. Is this real or not? Are you dissociating or not? Sometimes psychosis symptoms happen. It's like your whole system is being assaulted.

You walk around in the dark and try to feel safe. Sometimes you go back to bed and try to get some sleep. Almost always you go back to the nightmares. Then, you turn on the TV with the sound down. That way you try to focus on something tangible. You're always run down.

Word on the radio interview is that a MP3 copy is on the way. Once I know how to find it online, I'll post it here. In the meantime, everything has to be screened. You feel like you're constantly being bombarded with flashbacks, images and pain. You have to fight to try and keep some sense of being grounded. Easy to say, but not always to do.

Am I responsible for saving the world from all of the evil people? No. But you still struggle with that. Instead, you try to protect your well being. Pay attention to small things in how you feel. Don't just blow everything off. Instead, if it's a threat, no.

Relapsing and violently dissociating only makes things worse. Try to not intentionally put yourself in a situation where you would.

Protect yourself.

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