Sunday, July 6, 2014

Sad But Trying to Cope

For the past couple of days, it's been a constant battle to not violently dissociate. You cry all day and struggle with feeling abandoned, dirty and worthless. You know you're not. But it's like you're at the next day after being raped emotionally.

Everybody heals at different rates. There's no magic cure to fit all trauma survivors. We know that. Having said that, you still struggle with trying not to feel worthless. Nobody listened, nobody saved us. Nobody did anything.

Every day there's endless abuse. You have to fight back, because you have no other choice. How do you do that AND everything else you have to do in the day?

In our case, no matter what happens, we know we're telling the truth. Other horrible people may have problems with that. However, we're not responsible for their health. We will protect ourselves as best we can. If others can't see or won't do anything about their mental illness, that's their problem.

You cry all day, you go outside. Or, you just sit in the corner and rock back and forth, because that way nobody will abuse you. I don't have all of the answers for my multiples and little kid. But that's okay.

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