Saturday, February 15, 2014

Trying Not to Relapse

It's still the weekend. Too late to go out. Instead, stay in with some nice tea and some latenight TV.

No more doctor appointments his month. However, bills and trying to always have as many options as possible.Not perfect control, but trying to feel better and not dependent on others for literally every single thing.

Do you have problems with ange and a sense of abandonment. One minute you feel like you have some sense of focus. Then, you literally fall down and cry becuase tou feel like NOBODY's EVER been there to help. Nobody will listen or do anything to help you.

You don't want to off yourself. You don't want to attack everyone you see. Despite all of that, you still struggle with anger.I didn't ask to be raped by three psycho pedophiles.You don't want to hurt yourself or anyone else. But the anger is still there.

The lucid dreams are still there. The psycho rapist tries to go down on you. You fight back. They try to pin you down, rape you and then cut your throat.

Sorry, but I have to stop. I'm trying not to dissociate. Focus on what's real around you. The anger is still there. But you have to protect yourself.

Just try to keep your sense of balance.

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