Feeling Abandoned

A week of things to do and sleep to catch up on. What else? Struggling with abandonment.

You know it's not your fault. Getting raped is something that any any sane person asks for. Then again, what do you do when you're struggling to keep some sense of balance and to not fall apart?

I feel sad, and I'm not sure of what to do. I have flashbacks and have to fight to not dissociate. In the past ten years, I've almost died 5 times. I have no death wish. But you have thoughts about, what if I wasn't here? Would anybody miss me? Would anybody care that I not here?

It's like you're constantly aware and fighting to not fall apart. You constantly have to be on guard.