We still have nightmares and other symptoms. For the past three nights, it's always been something really violent. At times you see and hear what other horrible people did and said. You fight back because you know you have to. Nobody else is going to save you.
Recently, a mental health source told me that nightmares are one way for your mind/body connection to process the trauma you've been thru. Also, there's the split second when you open your eyes, and you don't know what's real. You try to scream but you have to struggle to have control over your body.
On the other hand, none of it's abnormal in any way (considering the trauma you've been thru and didn't get treatment for for a long time).
We're healing from a long history of severe abuse overall. I try to pay attention to my intuition and say we're doing the right things. Just because we have sick and violent thoughts doesn't mean that we're a monster.
We're just healing from abuse.