Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Scared of Giving in to Dissociating

Another day of trying to keep some sense of balance. We still have to say as best you can, don't dissociate. Do something positive instead. You try to stick to that, but you also feel like you're getting bombarded by triggering stuff from every direction.

 You try to keep a sense of balance. However, that's hard when you feel like you're fighting to not black out from fear, a feeling of abandonment, and getting hit by body pain.

You scream because you're terrified of what feels like endless sick lucid dreams and flashbacks. I'm not insane. I'm not psychotic. Why then do I feel like I have the same sick stuff endlessly happening to me?

One reason is because my symptoms have been that severe and untreated for that long. Now, we're healing overall from a long history of severe abuse.

We're telling the truth. We're not insane, sick, weird, a freak, or anything else. We're healing from a long history of abuse.

I don't want to dissociate. I don't want to feel like I have no idea whatsoever of what's going on. It's balance. Not perfectionism, but balance.

Do you feel like you're getting bombarded by triggering stuff everywhere you look? How do you deal with that?

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