Saturday, October 6, 2012

Cars, Funerals and More (Contains potentially triggering stuff. Read at your own risk)

Just in case you thought I disappeared. Not the case at all. Instead, it's been a INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL week. Bear with me as I try to get thru a lot of extremely triggering stuff.

My car was totalled due to two wrecks (not my fault).
My car coverage firm believes in never knowing or talking to anyone else in another office.
They wouldn't give me an extension on a car rental to have more time to find the next car.
There was a funeral. I almost didn't go, because the person who died had a pedophile husband (who's now dead, and was one of the psycho rapists who repeatedly raped us). At the last minute, I decided to do, and it was one of the most horrible experiences ever.

You're sitting there and being bombarded by millions of triggering things. People are standing up and walking around saying oh how wonderful these people were. Not one of them told the truth about the husband. Not one said anything about the hell that we went thru. The terror of being raped and NOBODY did anything about it.

Nobody did anything.
Nobody said anything.
Nobody reassured us in any way.
No one had the human decency to say this is incredibly stressful for you. I'm so sorry you were raped.

Nobody did anything.

You want to scream. You want to go on a rampage. You want revenge. But none of those things will happen. You fight sick horrible lucid dreams and trying to not black out as you scream.

Nobody is going to listen, care or help you in any way.

Does anyone care if I'm alive?

You don't want to get eaten alive by anger. Yet, nobody cares.

Now, we try to keep this in mind. First, we matter. You set boundaries and protect yourself as best you can. If others are incredibly cold and couldn't care less about not helping you, they have to live with that. Not me.

Finally found a car today. It's "certified pre-owned". For our intl. readers, that's a polite way of saying "a used car that's been repaired to be close to new". Some problems to deal with which we'll do on Monday.

In the meantime, how do you cope with anger and frustration?

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