Almost no sleep last night. Today, it's been trying to focus and to not black out. You have flashbacks to abandonment, pain and how scary your trauma history has been and continues to be. But no matter what, don't dissociate. Don't fall apart and have no idea where you are.
Some days you have no noise. You just want peace and quiet. You don't want to be bombarded with pain. You have to face your history as best you can, as long as it doesn't endanger you in some way. You want to feel safe.