Pain

Sorry to be offline for a while. But symptoms have been a real battle to deal with. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying talks about facing your pain head on as best you can without endangering yourself. Denial and various ways to escape (drug use, gambling, junk food, sex, etc) will only make pain worse.

Right now, as best I can, I'm trying to not hide behind denial. I can't save the world all by myself. If the worst happens and Trump wins, it's not my fault. Obama says look the other way as powerful Afghans have sex parties and rape the s**t out of innocent little kids. Can I save them, all by myself? No I can't. How come millions of people want nothing to do with this ongoing crime? I don't know.

I just don't want to relapse and literally disappear. In the past, pain was so severe that I literally blacked out. Then, you suddenly wake up and have no idea of where you are. Your system literally shorts out from trauma.

I still have the full range of complex dissociative disorder (CDD) symptoms. It's a never ending battle to not dissociate and fall apart. But what other choice do I have?

You can't save the world all by yourself. Instead, protect yourself as best you can. Your well being comes first. Then deal with Trump, Hillary and all the rest of it.