Sorry to be away for a while. The past few days have been a real struggle to not disssociate and black out. You sit and look around the room, and ask: what's real and what isn't? But despite that, you have to fight back and not relapse. Just like an addict, your first response is it relieves pain. But it doesn't. It makes it worse.
Do your nightmares still happen? Lately, they're ultra violent. Everywhere you turn, somebody's trying to kill you. You have to constantly fight back. You can't trust anybody. If you don't fight back, you'll die.
Is anger still there? Some days you feel like you can't trust anybody. Everybody's lying. You feel abandoned. You have to protect yourself. What do you do?
Pain comes flooding out. Everywhere you look, it's violently triggering. Anal pain, body pain, torture flashbacks and more. It has to come out. If not in one way, in lots of others. You scream and don't want to fall apart. You have to fight back.
You can't just sit and do nothing.
You have to fight back.
You have to protect yourself.
You don't have a choice.
Sadness comes and you feel crippled. You don't want to hurt yourself or anybody else. What do you do?
You have to protect your well being. We're following the right things.