Another day of struggle to not dissociate. You think that maybe it will relieve pain. But it doesn't. Instead, you don't know where you are or what time it is. You're trapped in a maze with no way out. I don't want to feel miserable all the time. Despite that, you still feel bombarded with pain.
Face your trauma history as best you can. You're bombarded with pain and sick thoughts. On the other hand, I'm not mentally ill. I have health problems, and I'm trying to deal with them as best I can.
You have to protect yourself.